HELP "Screech" from Saved by the Bell

Screech, real name Dustin Diamond, has been told that without 250k within a month, his house will be taken from him. (Screech is located at the top.)

This actor who was the butt of all the jokes on Saved by the Bell deserves help from his millions and millions of fans. He makes me laugh all the time (By the way Screech or Dustin since you probably would like to forget the Screech days, I purchased all the original Saved by the Bell episodes. I have been a long supporter of you and the crew).

The deal is, 15 dollars for a t-shirt and 20 dollars to get an autographed t-shirt. Please help Screech out.

Here is the site...

http://www.getdshirts.com./the_story.php

Dorms

Nostalgia set in...

I remember freshmen year. The dorms... the foul smell of sweat, rotting food and weed.

I also remembered all the funny little feuds going on between new "roomies". It was always funny to hear the pranks being played on one another.

My friend Pat told me about all the rumors of the clogged up toilets. I somehow manage to laugh now, even though at the time he had to live through the harassment of fellow students that shared the same dormitory that thought he was the culprit.

I somehow missed those times.

Times where room mates snitching to the resident assistant (RA) about his room mate lighting incense. Yes, lighting incense is forbidden. You know those 18, 19, 20 year old pyromaniacs.

I still wouldn't want to go back. Every weekend was a battle and I beat myself up internally, because I thought I was strong minded to resist temptation. Playstation, Xbox or going to the library to read Beowulf (british literature is SOOOO boring) or about Porfirio Diaz's reign in post-colonial Mexico (Mexican history wasn't bad, but it also couldn't replace Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell on Xbox either).

(And for your information, I'm typing in courier. Everyone knows Courier makes your writing look more verbose and lengthy than what it really is. It's the cheaters' trick to get those page minimums in lectures. If you're a college student and haven't learned that, WAKE UP. I knew that trick in high school. Some professors have caught on and say they want size 10, Times New Roman-it looks the most professional, but is really small.)

Lao Tzu's Debut

My old buddy from college, who we will call Lao Tzu, is spending some study time abroad in Australia. He is now working freelance for the site and has written quite a nice essay on nazi feminism. Let's read!

What did the five fingers say to the face?
Lao Tzu, from exile
This is my account of the return of the man in society. By no means am I speaking for all guys, of all backgrounds. But this is my own two cents. So I am gonna call it like it is, and drop it like it’s hot.
So ya, feminism have made strides for women empowerment and all that stuff. Well that is good. I am glad my mom and little cousin can vote now. And yes, the radical feminist are still pissed at guys while the liberal ones are okay with us but still are not as pissed as the Femi Nazis.
Oh by the way, I failed to bring up the fact that socially speaking, most times, i.e. at least 6 out of every 10 times, roughly 3 out of every 5 times, a guy interacts with a female, within the context of one being interested in the other, that he does not know or just barely met the guy usually has to initiate the conversation and lead the conversation. Now if feminism was at least partial true to its own roots in which it set down upon its own accord, then one can say that the above stated statistic is in fact false and the rest of what I have to say would not be needed. But seeing as it has not, I think will continue on. But I will give feminist the benefit of the doubt right now, in saying that maybe feminism has not developed to the point that women actually do feel empowered enough to start up a conversation with a guy they don’t know. But that would go against patriarchy, wait that is what a lot of feminism is against, patriarchy. But they are still adhering to it. Now I call, bull shit on that. Saying one thing but doing another. Because I do come from the school that states, ‘Words are fine….But deeds, let you know the heart of the man (or woman)’. So in short, deeds not words. And yes, I know you woman can do better. I am just pissed that you ain’t doin any better. Oh and I am kinda pissed at guys too for slacking off the past few hundred years for becoming more lazy and knowing and remembering the pen before the sword. But that is for a different time.
Now I am not going to point out sociological implications of this, in the fact that a lot of social interaction is negatively skewed between the genders and is based upon one of the genders initiating a negatively skewed amount of social interactions between them. Now this does not sound fair, am I correct? Can feminism account for this? Yes, but the new age feminism, but the old school nineteenth century can, in which they would say that by means of economic freedom, a women can gain social freedom, thus being able to initiate conversations, with whom she sees fit and would like to, because she has found her own base of power, her own economic means and modes of production.
Yes we guys have screw shit up. Okay, I know I will agree with that. But where is the ‘better’ half of the species, or at least the other half? And don’t give me any of that bull shit about having to go get some education and a job and then life. For I got to do that too, so that argument, in short, in a bunch of bull shit. Oh and yes I was raised by a family in which my mother was home while my father worked, but my mother did have a graduate degree and I was able to find for my self, which included being able to take care of children, by the time I got my driver’s license at seventeen. Which by the standards of the low class in almost any country let alone America, I would have already had my first child if I was a female and maybe even working on another child. So, yes my parents trained me well. But at the same time I still see those smart and good girls dating the guys that ain’t going no were. And I see those girls who are very attractive, unattractive to me because I lack a singular entity, and most of the time that singular entity seems to be my height, cuz I am 5’ 6". But I would like to point out how my first girlfriend, was 5’ 9" and the second girlfriend was 5’ 1". Where is the feminist movement here? I don’t see it. But I have been known to be wrong.
Because if feminism was suppose to unite women, were is the uniting? If feminism is suppose to allow women to become empowered, then why are women still after working a full day still come home and do all of the home duties, i.e. cooking, cleaning, etc. If feminism is suppose to allow women to become empowered about themselves and effect them all, then why is it that there is still world hunger?
Yes I do go out to the clubs and drink with my guys. I know that guys go out looking for sex, and women go out to have fun, and too shake there groove thing. That’s fine to go out looking for sex or to go out just for fun. For I know I have done both at least a few times. But what I get confused upon is, why do women get all dressed up and looking attractive and not only that but also flirt like there is no tomorrow and then don’t plan on either taking someone home or calling any of the guys back and expect nothing to happen….Talk about living in a dream world. But maybe they are waiting for the guys to call them. That would mean that these women are still adhering to patriarchy and the guys initiating everything and going after them, which sounds pretty much like patriarchy and the old medieval school if I am not mistaken. This would mean that even though we got cars, we still ain’t out of the medieval mind set. Thus can be said that feminism is kinda against, but I could be mistaken. And if feminism was in fact against it, would it not try to actively work against it. Now some things have been done, i.e. female doctors, female priest (in some religions but not all), female lawyers, female politicians, etc. But that is access to the system and structure. That is half of it, if that much because there is still all the other areas of life, such as sports, and I might be even able to slip this in and say………the social sphere………..Which I know probably will cause problems in some areas resulting gasping and the dropping of dishes, and some one some where to get pissed at me. This is good. I hope this has pissed someone off. It means that first you are still human and second you understand what I am saying and that is, feminism has helped women out in some aspects, but in the social sphere and their interactions with guys (the other half of the population), it ain’t done shit. So please women, get the fuck pissed. Get up and actually talk to guys. Actually tell them what the fuck you mean and want. That is how to get something out of us. Playing games only hurts you. Cuz guys talk just as much as girls.
Now I am sitting there in the club with my guys and a girl that is generally attractive walks by with some tight fitting clothes, makeup and her all done up all nice like. Now, does everyone expect the guys, especially after a few drinks not at least check her out. Now, I could be mistaken, but they just might. But I know I will, and damn she has a nice ass.
This is an article by Lao Tzu, while in exile.

It's very simple logic, my friend. GIRLS DON'T WANT NICE GUYS. The ones that say they do are either the ones you never let go of, the liars, or the deceivers. Most girls say that they love a guy, like my friend Andrea from college, but when you see how the guy treats her, you wonder if it's really because he is nice, or he just has the cash, car, and the wang to do it with.

Girls dress like teases because their parents failed them at a young age and they like having that power to overwhelm the feeble. Or, you can play it smart, like me, and just watch. Watching when you know you can't get or don't want to get is fine. Doesn't count as a lay, but hey, at least it shows you're not some celibate queer who tries to ride on morals that will merely make him or her unhappy as life progresses.

Feminism is dead in its true meaning today, a lot like a Teacher's Union. Teacher's constantly complain about low pay and not being treated equally when they can get 32 grand a year, 3 months off for the summer, and the potential to file a lawsuit if a student or staff member makes an extreme violation. Hell, they can even sue the district if funding is being cut back! And they say they are being treated unfairly? That is just like this feminist movement today. Women complain about anything, that's just the way it is. Ok, you can endure child birth, so can we. We listen to the cravings, to the bitching, and the constant need for sex. We tolerate because we love (hopefully) the woman and want her to be comfortable, but at the same time, we still have a life to lead and a job to go to so junior will be well taken care of. Women can vote now, become CEOs, join the army, make lots of money, even be head of a household. So, what's the big fucking deal?

Self-esteem is what it comes down to. Feminists believe they have high self-esteem by feeling helpless and doing something about it. That is the sin of spin, avoidance and deception. A real woman, like my fiancee, doesn't take crap, but at the same time, respects who she is and who I am no matter what. That is called self-esteem. Many sorority bimbos and "I love being submissive in bed, blah blah" bitches have no self esteem because they have nothing else to work for but a dog collar from Hot Topic, a Communications degree that means shit nowadays, and looks that will fade away the more she goes out and fucks random strangers. This is feminism today: their right to party and blame the guys for not getting their ways or the simplex mouth herpes when they got it before their current lay.

Chivalry is dead. Common curteousy is dead to our youth. Pride is slowly dying thanks to this generation double-X bullshit. The will to work for what you like than what you have to do is dead. It's not too late, at least. You can still make it, Lao. All you have to do is just stop caring about those little inconveniences and make fun of them like I do. If you can joke about what bugs you, you're on the level.

grey.fox37@gmail.com

My First Threat Into Lawsuit

On my last Weekend Update, I made a funny about some anti-cigarette campaign in Australia called "Butt Force." I and several other fans found it rather funny. However, it seems someone over there found me out (or one of my aussie fans ratted me out) and decided to email me a letter about how much pain I've caused from one joke on a shitty organization no one really cares about. Here is the letter:

Greetings, Grey Fox, or whoever you are.

I have come into possession of your URL and saw that our organization was mentioned in your email rather unfairly and inapropriately. We are a proud organization that help prevent the littering of cigarette butts and smoking in restricted areas. I find it rather upsetting that you would tease such a righteous organization for a few laughs. Please cease and desist your criminal activity immediately.

Some dumb schmuck

Immediately, my physician, Doctor Pancakes went over this letter, possibly trying to crack The Da Vinci Code from it, but sadly, no luck. We also pondered on whether this note was for real or just a joke to get some attention. I found the part about the "criminal activity" to be quite amusing. hence why I couldn't take this letter seriously. Before I could respond, Doctor Pancakes had a few words of his own:

Hey,

Don't fuck with this site, bitch. No one gives a damn about your boring cliche of fat asses and wrinkly faces doing something either than smoking crack and whoring yourselves out for it. Go get some jobs, you hippie fags.

I found this to be of an equal joke for the individual and a fair bit of advice. Unfortunately, The Butt Force wasn't convinced and came back with this:

Mr. Grey Fox,

Your doctor sent me a very rude email, signaling to me that you are not taking this seriously. If you do not remove your comment about us from your site, we will take legal action for libel.

The same dumb schmuck

This is the best prank I've had played on me, I said after reading this. Libel for making fun of someone when everyone else does it as well. Like I've said over and over, these "causes" are merely cults in disguise. I've had light hearted threats, jokes, and celibate losers attack me before. Do I go onto their site and threaten to sue them for saying stuff about things I like? Of course not. Taking a stand over something retarded is no different from being in a cult."He made fun of anime, he's evil!" Yeah, great logic. "He's making fun of Butt Force!" Yeah, I am. Change the gay name and maybe I'll take interest (even though I won't). I decided to write back to him:

Greetings, Mr. Schmuck

After thuroughly examining your letter through several tests involving a gerbil, a wheel, a bunch of cool lasers with multiple mirrors, and some office sex with my lawyer and fiancee, we have come to the conclusion that your email does not contain any secrets into cracking The Da Vinci code. We also thought it might have clues to the National Treasure, but unfortunately, we had no luck in deciphering anything from that as well. If The Butt Force has any members willing to go on our hunt for riches and terrible acting, we would like in on it with you as well. My doctor also wants to mention that if the comment is taken down from the site, it could be very damaging on real people's self-esteem, like mine. I don't feel like sinking to the level of bored adults picking up after smokers. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to feed the hard copy of this letter to The Truth's goat. If you would like to buy one of our awesome goats from us, please contact Doctor Pancakes ASAP. I'm sure they love the taste of rolled tobacco.

Some Asshole named Grey Fox

No responses yet. It's been four days. I'll give it a little longer and if I don't get a letter in the mail (which I won't), I'll be very disappointed....for about 2 seconds.

grey.fox37@gmail.com

All Work And No Play Makes Grey Fox's Site Empty

Work, fixing up my computer, and spending time with my fiancee has detained me recently. I'll be back sometime this week with the updates promised. Lao Tzu, an old college friend of mine, has written quite an essay on the topic of women's sufferage (aka nazi feminism). We welcome Lao Tzu aboard as a freelancer and appreciate his help and commitment as an outside collaborator and indirect asshole.

I've also received an email from a branch of that anti-smoking club "Butts" telling me, and I quote "to cease and desist my criminal activity on their organization immediately."

So, I guess making satire and sarcasm of things is criminal now. Whatever shall we do?

Keep it up.