Why Furries Live Solely For My Amusement
Two years of traveling down the same mysterious vortex hole Ozzie Smith found himself tricked into when he visited Springfield in The Simpsons has now somehow landed me back here. I thought this site would be taken down because of how "cruel and unusual" I am to miserable people. So, before Obama does away with the First and Second Amendments, it's time to get more jollies in pissing off some more subcultures.
Having logged into my account, I stumbled across a shitload of comments waiting to be approved. Many were from fans, many were spam, and a few did catch my interest. One in particular was from my post on Better Days in which a pretentious furrian decided to belittle my truth. Just like a hippie protesting that a liquior bottle was not recycled after it was used to sodomize a man in San Francisco, this furrian went all out on me in a crusade and orgy of poor spelling, shorthand, and the atrocious shorthand word, "For The Win." It should be duly noted that anyone using this term has severe mental problems, hence why he decided to speak out against The Truth. The following is what was said and should not be taken seriously by ANYONE:
all the people on this website are anti furry fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? half the stuff u wrote (the fact based thing) are untrue!!!! at the start fisk is 9 and so is lucy, they are called lucy and fisk cos they aren't pets they are FICTIONAL anthropomorphic characters!! also its a dramatic comic!! jay doesnt get of with incest its part of the fucking story and so what if he does jay naylor is an awesome man and a great artist so get the fuck off his back you ignorant assholes! FURRIES FOR THE WIN!
There you have it, sports fans, straight from the furry horse's mouth as he sucks on a furry sheep's penis. It doesn't matter if you know what furry is or not, our furrian friend has confirmed that if you visit my site, you are an anti-furry fucker. Make sure that when you sleep with your human man or woman tonight, you reflect upon your poor decision of visiting my site and how many furry people you have shunned, crushed, and saddened. Now, their nightly routine of masturbating to Honey Bunny from Space Jam and door locking to keep their "mundane" parents out is completely destroyed because you visited my site. The once calm, serene feeling that a furry gets when it blows its load over their favorite stuffed animal will now be replaced with the distasteful words of a satirical blog writer online who merely wishes to enlighten people of what The Truth really is about in regards to the entire world. What the fuck are our problems, people? Fisk and Lucy are NINE at the beginning of the comic. Jesus fucking CHRIST, why are you so stupid for forgetting the ages of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES!!! Jay Naylor is an awesome man! He lets me molest him and his brother in a three way furry fest! I wear my horse outfit while he hops into his Fisk costume because he is my idol dream date! Then he pops his delicious kitty milk into my mouth and tells me to fight against oppressive people whose opinion differs from mine because everyone should love furries even if they find it weird or sickingly sad!
THE TRUTH FOR THE WIN! -cums-
For those of you anti-furry fuckers who don't know what a furry is, good for you. Your mind will never have to suffer through the images, lifestyles, personalities, and sorrow that furries endure day in and day out. If you're curious, however, read on and don't stop, courage is fear holding on a little longer (The immortal words of General George S Patton, war veteran and President of the Anti-Furry Fuckers Club, yes, beyond the grave).
A furry is basically a nerd or virgin who is part of (yes) another retarded internet subculture that enjoy anthromorphic humanoid people. Looney tunes or Disney animal characters that walk on two legs and talk are examples. What's so bad about that, you ask? Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck, to name a few, are legends, hands down. Here is the problem. These geeks take it to the extreme of sexual gratification...yes, we're talking about yet ANOTHER subculture full of people that kill time with masturbation before they go and piss off the wrong person and end up in jail or beaten up.
If this is your first time hearing about them and you're shocked you've never heard of them, you're lucky. It's been around for over 40 years sadly, but it started off harmless enough. With today's Liberal society, we have to be more tolllllerrrrrentttt of idiots like these and accept their lifestyles. Sure, you can do or be what you want or sleep with whichever sewer rat you want to. However, I can also say or do as I please, and teasing freaks of nature like this happens to be one of my rights, yay!
So, Fox, you said they take it too far and it's used solely for sexual graitifcation. Can you elaborate? Ok, but i must take a 1/5th of Vodka first..................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
.....................................................................
Ok, here goes
The most popular defense for a furry geek is to say that "their culture is cool, I'm not always masturbating to Gadget from Rescue Rangers, I'm not going to fur-con to sniff other people's asses, I don't always wear my fox ears in public, I live alone, I have been laid" and so on. However, when you explore a webpage such as Furtopia, at first, it looks innocent enough. You see some unusual artwork and a crappy template, which is quite common for subculture sites, but do not let the surface fool you! Once you enter the forum to see what people are talking about, 70% of it is mainly how to get into Pikachu's pants or going to a zoo and getting off the night of the trip after a Tiger was going nuts seeing you wear your fox ears and tail. That's just the surface of it, though.
To be fair, I will throw in two types of furry:
THE "SANE" FURRY
The "sane" furry is the furry fan who draws and looks at artwork of furries without having to depict 4 penises, dick nipples, or scenes of grotesque sexual practice. They also probably love the characters for the characters in the terms of amusement, like Bugs Bunny, or badassness, like Chewbacca. Some even link spiritual connection to totems and such. While strange, art is art, religion is religion, and these people can be tolerable, but still rather annoying.
EVERYONE ELSE FURRY
Now comes the real stale meat and starchy potatoes. These people are insane, obnoxious, creepy, and all around perfect individuals to bring to a club or party for laughs as they sit in a corner drinking a virgin strawberry daquiri while wearing animal ears and tails and having patrons stare at them like they were the incarnate of satan himself. All that is decent and active is replaced by depravity and extensive sugar intake to stay awake splattering semen all over their computer monitors as their fantasies of nine year old Fisk and Lucy are satisfied. You guessed it, these are the people involved in wearing fursuits to "yiff" each other, get off to erotic fur art until their 3 inch penises dissolve and wither away to nothingness, or draw pcitures of Minnie Mouse with a penis. These people have horrible defense mechanisms, associate you to Hitler if you don't like furries, get angry at everything, or pretend to be oblivious to it by making fun of you for talking against furry. However, that is quite illogical, you're not the furry fan, they are! These people should be avoided like the STD ridden tramp of the party who flashes you her boobs, but you stop there because you know her company ink has been dipped in too many times.
I'll go into more detail about how to handle these fursons later, but for now, two movies reviews and another 1/5th of Vodka calls
I'M BACK, BITCHES!
grey.fox37@gmail.com
Having logged into my account, I stumbled across a shitload of comments waiting to be approved. Many were from fans, many were spam, and a few did catch my interest. One in particular was from my post on Better Days in which a pretentious furrian decided to belittle my truth. Just like a hippie protesting that a liquior bottle was not recycled after it was used to sodomize a man in San Francisco, this furrian went all out on me in a crusade and orgy of poor spelling, shorthand, and the atrocious shorthand word, "For The Win." It should be duly noted that anyone using this term has severe mental problems, hence why he decided to speak out against The Truth. The following is what was said and should not be taken seriously by ANYONE:
all the people on this website are anti furry fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? half the stuff u wrote (the fact based thing) are untrue!!!! at the start fisk is 9 and so is lucy, they are called lucy and fisk cos they aren't pets they are FICTIONAL anthropomorphic characters!! also its a dramatic comic!! jay doesnt get of with incest its part of the fucking story and so what if he does jay naylor is an awesome man and a great artist so get the fuck off his back you ignorant assholes! FURRIES FOR THE WIN!
There you have it, sports fans, straight from the furry horse's mouth as he sucks on a furry sheep's penis. It doesn't matter if you know what furry is or not, our furrian friend has confirmed that if you visit my site, you are an anti-furry fucker. Make sure that when you sleep with your human man or woman tonight, you reflect upon your poor decision of visiting my site and how many furry people you have shunned, crushed, and saddened. Now, their nightly routine of masturbating to Honey Bunny from Space Jam and door locking to keep their "mundane" parents out is completely destroyed because you visited my site. The once calm, serene feeling that a furry gets when it blows its load over their favorite stuffed animal will now be replaced with the distasteful words of a satirical blog writer online who merely wishes to enlighten people of what The Truth really is about in regards to the entire world. What the fuck are our problems, people? Fisk and Lucy are NINE at the beginning of the comic. Jesus fucking CHRIST, why are you so stupid for forgetting the ages of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES!!! Jay Naylor is an awesome man! He lets me molest him and his brother in a three way furry fest! I wear my horse outfit while he hops into his Fisk costume because he is my idol dream date! Then he pops his delicious kitty milk into my mouth and tells me to fight against oppressive people whose opinion differs from mine because everyone should love furries even if they find it weird or sickingly sad!
THE TRUTH FOR THE WIN! -cums-
For those of you anti-furry fuckers who don't know what a furry is, good for you. Your mind will never have to suffer through the images, lifestyles, personalities, and sorrow that furries endure day in and day out. If you're curious, however, read on and don't stop, courage is fear holding on a little longer (The immortal words of General George S Patton, war veteran and President of the Anti-Furry Fuckers Club, yes, beyond the grave).
A furry is basically a nerd or virgin who is part of (yes) another retarded internet subculture that enjoy anthromorphic humanoid people. Looney tunes or Disney animal characters that walk on two legs and talk are examples. What's so bad about that, you ask? Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck, to name a few, are legends, hands down. Here is the problem. These geeks take it to the extreme of sexual gratification...yes, we're talking about yet ANOTHER subculture full of people that kill time with masturbation before they go and piss off the wrong person and end up in jail or beaten up.
If this is your first time hearing about them and you're shocked you've never heard of them, you're lucky. It's been around for over 40 years sadly, but it started off harmless enough. With today's Liberal society, we have to be more tolllllerrrrrentttt of idiots like these and accept their lifestyles. Sure, you can do or be what you want or sleep with whichever sewer rat you want to. However, I can also say or do as I please, and teasing freaks of nature like this happens to be one of my rights, yay!
So, Fox, you said they take it too far and it's used solely for sexual graitifcation. Can you elaborate? Ok, but i must take a 1/5th of Vodka first..................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
.....................................................................
Ok, here goes
The most popular defense for a furry geek is to say that "their culture is cool, I'm not always masturbating to Gadget from Rescue Rangers, I'm not going to fur-con to sniff other people's asses, I don't always wear my fox ears in public, I live alone, I have been laid" and so on. However, when you explore a webpage such as Furtopia, at first, it looks innocent enough. You see some unusual artwork and a crappy template, which is quite common for subculture sites, but do not let the surface fool you! Once you enter the forum to see what people are talking about, 70% of it is mainly how to get into Pikachu's pants or going to a zoo and getting off the night of the trip after a Tiger was going nuts seeing you wear your fox ears and tail. That's just the surface of it, though.
To be fair, I will throw in two types of furry:
THE "SANE" FURRY
The "sane" furry is the furry fan who draws and looks at artwork of furries without having to depict 4 penises, dick nipples, or scenes of grotesque sexual practice. They also probably love the characters for the characters in the terms of amusement, like Bugs Bunny, or badassness, like Chewbacca. Some even link spiritual connection to totems and such. While strange, art is art, religion is religion, and these people can be tolerable, but still rather annoying.
EVERYONE ELSE FURRY
Now comes the real stale meat and starchy potatoes. These people are insane, obnoxious, creepy, and all around perfect individuals to bring to a club or party for laughs as they sit in a corner drinking a virgin strawberry daquiri while wearing animal ears and tails and having patrons stare at them like they were the incarnate of satan himself. All that is decent and active is replaced by depravity and extensive sugar intake to stay awake splattering semen all over their computer monitors as their fantasies of nine year old Fisk and Lucy are satisfied. You guessed it, these are the people involved in wearing fursuits to "yiff" each other, get off to erotic fur art until their 3 inch penises dissolve and wither away to nothingness, or draw pcitures of Minnie Mouse with a penis. These people have horrible defense mechanisms, associate you to Hitler if you don't like furries, get angry at everything, or pretend to be oblivious to it by making fun of you for talking against furry. However, that is quite illogical, you're not the furry fan, they are! These people should be avoided like the STD ridden tramp of the party who flashes you her boobs, but you stop there because you know her company ink has been dipped in too many times.
I'll go into more detail about how to handle these fursons later, but for now, two movies reviews and another 1/5th of Vodka calls
I'M BACK, BITCHES!
grey.fox37@gmail.com
posted by Grey Fox at 12:07 PM
2 Comments:
JagerGyre,
I haven't even made an update in ages on this blog. Why do you care what some stranger you'll never ever meet who made a satire and sarcasm blog has to say about a silly subculture? And why do people always have this feeling that anyone who makes fun of their lifestyle is unintelligent when that is far from the case? And to top things off, clinging onto challenges such as grammar? Why do you think I made the title the way it was? I let myself stay wide open for attack because I love seeing people get butthurt over trivial manners or attempt to belittle my ignorance, bitterness, etc. If that is so much a problem, there are "better" blogs to read...well, not really, but you can try. That's right, JagerGyre, everyone who teases addiction and obsession are stupid right-wing assholes that have no life and have nothing better to do than to go on blogs or sites like Something Awful, 4chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica to make up for their lack of faith in fur faggotry. Come on...you're proving my point with that attitude and just calling me Hitler like a typical fur fag. I'm also considered attractive by some of my co-workers despite the fact of sitting in front of a computer all day tearing down people as you so "triumphantly" put it...even though I haven't posted on this blog in ages.
I've walked several miles down the darkest depths of the world and the internet. All I see is the same high chair with a grown man in a bib eating like a baby. I guess the moral of the story is don't be offended by someone else's opinion and take a laugh once in a while. You'll feel better and have more time to be "attractive" with your "peers" then sitting in front of a computer trashing someone for his humor.
Thanks for a trip down memory lane. Have fun being attractive with your peers!
You guys do realize he's just doing it for the lulz, right?
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