The Anime Test

Before we begin, I'd like to say good riddance to Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. His days of jamming his thumb up animal's buttholes and pissing animals off is over. My condolences go out to his family and his hot wife. I hope she finds comfort in the show's producer. At least Irwin wasn't as bad as Dale Einhart Sr. Irwin at least gave money to several animal funds, but Dale just drove in circles, becoming a legend to our wonderful slack jawed yokel rednecks of the south since they don't have anything else to live for but NASCAR, snipe hunting, and banging their kids (watch the hate mail come about me bashing Einhart).

Moving along, there are several anime tests out there that rate how devoted you are to anime and so forth, but now, the internet has a REAL test. The following 20 questions will accurately measure how devoted you are into anime. As you move through, add up each numerical value next to the answer you chose to each question. When you are finished, I will have the ratings below. Now, begin!

Question 1: Do you know what anime is?

0: No
.5: Yes, but I don't like it
1: Yes and it's enjoyable
2: ANIME IS MY LIFE!!!

Question 2: How often do you watch anime?

0: Never
1: On occasion
2: ITS ALL I WATCH!!!

Question 3: How much anime do you own?

0: None
1: A decent amount
2: ALL MY MOVIES ARE ANIME!!!

Question 4: On this list, what anime do you like?

0: I can't say
1: Ninja Scroll TV
2: Neon Genesis
3: FRUITS BASKET IS THE BEST ANIME EVER!!!

Question 5: Do you like hentai?

0: What the fuck is hentai?
1: No
2: Yes
3: HENTAI IS BETTER THAN REAL PORN!!!

Question 6: Do you masturbate to Hentai?

0: No
.5: I laugh at it and masturbate to it
1: Yes
2: I PRETEND MY PILLOW IS AN ANIME BABE OR HUNK!!!

Question 7: Do you decorate your room with anime?

0: No
1: Somewhat
2: I HAVE EVERY DRAGON BALL Z POSTER AND ACTION FIGURE!!!

Question 8: Do you wear anime attire?

0: No
1: I've got a Dragon Ball Z shirt or two
2: I WEAR MY BUBBLEGUM CRISIS SHIRT EVERYDAY TO SCHOOL!!!

Question 9: Do you attend anime cons?

0: No
1: Yes
2: ANIME CONS ARE MY ONLY VACATIONS!!!

Question 10: Do you cosplay at anime cons?

0: What the fuck does that mean?
1: Yes
2: I LIKE TO DRESS UP LIKE A GIRL EVEN THOUGH I AM A BOY (AND VICE VERSA IF I'M A GIRL!!!)!!!

Question 11: Do you live with your parents still?

0: No
1: Only because I'm a minor or until I finish college or get a job
2: I LIVE IN MY PARENTS BASEMENT!!!

Question 12: Do you like sushi?

0: No
1: Yes
2: SUSHI ISH THE BEST FOOD EVER! ^___________________^!!!

Question 13: Do you like pocky?

0: What the fuck is pocky?
.5: No
1: Yes
2: POCKY!!! ^____________________________________^

Question 14: Are you a member of an anime club?

0: No
1: Yes
2: ANIME CLUBS ARE MY ONLY SOCIAL TIMES!!!

Question 15: Do you use japanese in all your speech?

0: No
1: Either speaking it for a class or to someone or I live in Japan
2: OOO, NEKO ISH SO KAWAII!!! ^__________________________________^

Question 16: Is Sephiroth the best game villain ever?

0: Who the fuck is Sephiroth?
.5: Fuck no
1: Yes
2: SEPHIROTH!!! SEPHIROTH!!!

Question 17: Would you rather go to a party or watch anime?

0: Party
1: Anime if the party is full of retards, otherwise, party
2: PARTIES ARE FULL OF EVIL DRINKERS!!

Question 18: Would you rather go on a date with a real girl or play an anime dating sim?

0: Date a real girl
1: I play dating sims, but am taken, or would rather date a real girl regardless
2: MY LIFE IS ON THE COMPUTER!!!

Question 19: Do you drink alcohol?

0: Yes
.5: No, for religious/health concerns
1: No
2: ALCOHOL IS THE NECTAR OF IMBICILES!!!

Question 20: Are you asn adult and sexually attracted to little anime girls or boys?

0: Fuck no
4: I LOVE 10 YEAR OLD CAT GIRLS/BOYS!!!

Let's see how you did! Total up all your points and no cheating!

0-5: The mundane

Do not feel saddened for scoring this low. This is actually a good thing! It means you've either never heard of anime and are glad of it, or you have heard of it, don't like it, and are glad you don't for obvious reasons. You're a normal person, aside from your other sick fetishes, your subculture, and the fact you might have fucking cheated on this test after I told you not to!

6-10: Only on Cartoon Network

You catch it on TV, you're not a total fan of it, but you enjoy it since it kills time. You've probably never heard of hentai, but that's ok since you like real porn like a man should. You probably get easily confused when die hard fans go into an hour explaination about the religious analogies of Neon Genesis and sleep easier at night knowing you aren't such a dork.

16: Grey Fox (11-20): The Casual Fan

To you, anime is a hobby. You know the ropes pretty well and enjoy it either as a time killer or a side hobby to talk about with friends. You also probably attend cons once in a while to either make fun of them and have a good time, or because you were invited and never been to one. You still know the differences between reality and fantasy, but enjoy getting off to hentai and laughing at crazy humor that would not make sense with many. You're probably your average joe: school, job, married, dating, etc. You'll get into some geeky discussions, but won't throw yourself into a steamed rage when someone tells you Belldandy isn't the hottest anime babe ever.

21-30: Anime Nerd

Anime almost consumes your life! You spend countless hours on the internet debating with other dweebs about which Gundam could kick the crap out of an Eva unit. Your meals usually consist of Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew encrusted on a plate as you hunch over a computer, becoming impotent by the minute. Your pillow is your girlfriend, or you have a geekier and heavier girlfriend than yourself that annoys you, but you hold onto anyway for fear of being alone for the rest of your life. You probably do well in school, regardless, since half the time a majority of anime nerds have decent grammar or parents that force them to study for their lives.

31-40: Anime Otaku

You life is nothing but anime. You have no hopes in scoring a real girlfriend, so you have to result to cyber sex with minors, watching fanboy anime, and crying yourself to sleep in your parent's basement. You take pride in being called Otaku, thinking you are cool and unique from everyone else when all you really do is give others the necessary self esteem they need to make it in the day. Going outside or to class is a tedius chore for you, since that new futanari hentai came out and its more important than doing something in life that is meaningful to society. You probably don't drink beer wither, because you think it's evil when you're just too much of a pussy to understand its fine in moderation. You contimplate suicide daily, wondering why people hate you so much and why they are disgusted at you for dressing up in drag on a daily basis. You wonder why your parents treat you like dirt as you fail class after class, but they continue to fund and help you, trying to break out your potential, but you blow their money on Yoshi plushies. You are constantly forced to drink motor oil at school to shut you up from speaking so much retarded Japanese. Oh yeah, you constantly get your ass kicked too. In other words, you're a loser and you're not cool even if you think you are.

41-44: Future Homeless/Inmate/Death

Nuff said.

Before you go off saying there are fallacies and inconsistancy in my test, I'll just say this: if you scored low, but picked something like a 4 on the last one, you pretty much fit into the Otaku/Inmate lineup. If you picked the highest number on any of them, but still scored low, you've got some higher geek in you, and so on.

So there you have it, the best and most accurate anime test on the internet.