Arizona/Notre Dame Football Late Previews
It's late, but I got it all written out. Today is the day for college football, at long last! I finally have something to be happy about since Notre Dame is preseason ranked #2 and Arizona is getting darkhorse recognition everywhere.
Before I begin, Vanisher interupted an awesome boob dream I was having to plague me again with pointless drivel since I "altered" his previous comments. He crawled on his knees and cried, saddened that I made poor satire out of him :(
I was asked three questions and I can answer them with three words: Not being pussies.
My bro was right, only obsessed celibate nerds will wait hand and foot for my updates so they can eat my hard crunchy nuts with tabasco sauce and give my life the extra meaning it deserves. So thank you, Alex, Jesus, Vanisher, Sam, John, etc. If it weren't for net nerds, crybabies, and pussies like you fellas, I'd be out of business.
I will now reveal the secret of destroying my site: Stop visiting it. It's as simple as that. It will be hard for you all to live on without my mighty truth and words of wisdom, but it's not my problem, I'll gain more fans. The more you visit my site, the more my hidden ticker goes up. So, it's simple: either accept me or be wrong and rejected.
Moving on to the important stuff of the world, more important than minimum wage workers like Lacky, the War on Terror, and Futanari, lets talk football (all of this I copied and pasted from my college football forum. Don't like it? Tough, you will read it).
ARIZONA WILDCATS
Returning Starters: 17 Key Players: QB Willie Tuitama, WR Michael Thomas, WR Syndric Steptoe, TE Brad Wood, LB Ronnie Palmer, LB Spencer Larsen, LB Dane Krogstad, CB Antoine Cason, CB Wilrey Fontenot, FS Brandon Tatum, SS Michael Johnson. Top Newcomer: DE Louis Holmes. 6'6" 275 lbs...this guy is a MONSTER. The most sought after recruit from Juco turns down USC, Oklahoma, LSU, Florida State, and Tenneessee to come to the rebuilding Arizona. From the Red/Blue game, this guy can cover the trenches so well, I wouldn't want to go up against him. Strengths: Offense shaping up nicely, great secondary, great linebackers, nice special teams Weaknesses: Can Arizona learn to finish this year or will they let more games slip through their fingers? The running game under Chris Henry might still be shakey, since he has slippery fingers half the time and his backup is a true freshman. How Arizona will go to a bowl: Obviously, the sparks last year under Willie Tuitama and a much better offense must pass into this season as well. Arizona has to play all 9 Pac 10 opponents this year and excitingly enough, the Pac is up for grabs. The secondary has to continue its superb work since the Pac is home to some high scoring wide receivers. Also, the LBs who were not always healthy at the same time must stay healthy in case the offense has early hiccups much like last year. Oh yeah, beating BYU on September 2nd will give them momentum. Beating USC will begin to draw my conclusions on the theory that Arizona can win the Pac-10. How Arizona will choke: Losing to BYU will probably destroy their hopes. This game is so crucial in dictating the season that it could possibly change the morale of the whole team in one way or another. Also, having injury woes again in the LB positions would definately kill them. Finishing in the 4th quarter is a must as well, since Arizona has given up 5 games in the last second by 7 or less. The point is made: Arizona can play. Now Arizona must prove they can win. How excited I am about this season: No words can describe it This could very well be bowl year or the Pac 10 crown. How nervous I am about this season: I'm sort of nervous about Arizona, not as much as Notre Dame, though. On a scale from 1 to 10, how confident I am in them going to a bowl: 10 Schedule Breakdown BYU (Priority: High): BYU is being regarded as a comeback team this year. Arizona needs this game to prove they are going to make a difference this year. A win here will get some Arizona bashers to shut up for a while. LSU (Priority: High): Going to Baton Rouge to play the Tigers is killer. While many doubt Arizona will win this game, if they do, USC is going down for sure. Heck, I'll take a close loss in this game too. Last time, LSU humiliated them in Tucson. This year, Arizona won't go down without a fight. Stephen F. Austin (Priority: Low): Beats the hell out of me why they'd pick these chumps, but hey, at least Arizona'll have a fun time in this game. USC (Priority: Extreme): Wow, USC is extreme to Notre Dame AND Arizona. This is the Pac-10 opener for them. Stoops put heavy emphasis on this game, even more than the ASU game. I will be at this game and believe me, if we win, I will be on those goalposts again. Washington (Priority: High): Ty Willingham pissed me off the way he had his QB throw bombs against Notre Dame and Arizona. He never did that for the Irish. Arizona should have won this game last year, but the UCLA game got to their heads. This year should be different. Kind of ironic its right after the USC game and it'd be even more ironic if Arizona beat USC coming into this one. UCLA (Priority: Medium): UCLA is gonna be looking for revenge in this game after we smoked them 52-14 last season. It's gonna be played in L.A. where a lot of people hate both my teams. It won't be a blow out, but I think Arizona can win since they don't have to worry about the Drews. Anime con weekend! Stanford (Priority: Medium): Gotta beat this sissies this year, can't forgive the Cats for that 20-16 loss to them in Tucson. Oregon State (Priority: Medium): Arizona's first Pac 10 victory last year. Now, the Beavers come to Tucson. Arizona can win this pretty convincingly as long as the season is going well. Washington State (Priority: Low): Hey, Auburn, after you manhandle them, save some for us! California (Priority: High): 2004: 38-0, 2005: 28-0, 2006: Cats have to at least score. This will be the most difficult game of the Pac-10 season. Oregon (Priority: High): Oregon is rebuilding quite nicely. Arizona has to go up to Eugene where the fans aren't friendly. Arizona needs this game to get revenge for letting the 28-21 debacle of 2005 slip through their fingers. Arizona State (Priority: Extreme): A game the Cats should have won in 2005, but will win in Tucson. If Arizona comes in 6-5, this will be their greatest challenge, as ASU would love to keep them out of a bowl. Now, a lot of you people must think I am crazy: Arizona winning the Pac-10 and going to the Rose Bowl??? Are you nuts, Patrick? California, USC, and Oregon can make mincemeat out of them!!! But what if Arizona beats BYU? What if they lose barely to LSU? What about beating USC and gaining so much strength from it, they push on to beat Cal and Oregon? Arizona has 17 starters coming back behind a strong recruiting class. If Arizona stays healthy, the offense makes even more immense strides, and the secondary is as stingy as ever, it can happen. I will still be satisfied with a bowl, but I can agree to some writers saying Arizona can win the Pac.
NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH
Preseason Status: National Contenders, Two Heisman candidates Returning Starters: 16 Key Players: QB Brady Quinn, WR Jeff Samardzija, WR Rhema McKnight, RB Darius Walker, SS Tom Zbikowski, LB Maurice Crum Jr Top Newcomer: RB James Aldridge. Since Weis wanted more speed on defense, he made a move in putting RB Travis Thomas to LB. Aldridge seems to be very quick and knowledgable of his position. I hope he is because Thomas is a very good RB and Walker will need a great backup if Thomas sticks to LB. Strengths: Explosive offense, great kick returner, All American QB, fantastic coach, experienced cornerback Weaknesses: With the defense still in speculation from last year's squad, which gave up nearly 340 yards a game, I still am a little concerned about their progress, but we'll see September 2nd for sure. How Notre Dame will win the National Championship: Obviously, if Brady Quinn stays in great shape and health, this will be a record breaking season for him. The defense must do better this year since there will be a lot of teams, such as Michigan and UCLA, looking to capitalize and get their revenge on the Irish. Notre Dame must avenge their loss to USC last year. If Notre Dame is undefeated coming into that game, that will be the biggest game of their lives, possibly even greater than the hyped Penn State match on the 9th of September. One loss does not eliminate the Irish from the National Championship this year since I believe this is going to be one of the toughest seasons for every big dog in the league. How Notre Dame will choke: Brady Quinn getting injured will be the biggest blow of them all. I don't think any of the other QBs will have enough experience to drag the Irish to an NC, but they are good enough to give them a winning season. Losing to Georgia Tech would startle me deeply because of how gung ho they are about beating the Irish and the fact that it could start the Willingham curse again. If the defense sucks again, forget about it. If Penn State and Michigan beat them, then the season is over. If any of the military schools beat them, I will be sick. How excited I am about this season: No words can describe it How nervous I am about this season: Very On a scale from 1 to 10, how confident I am in them winning the National Championship: 9 Schedule Breakdown Georgia Tech (Priority: High): They MUST win this game to solidify the season and show this isn't going to be the upset of the year right off the bat. If its a narrow victory, I won't be disappointed, but might be a little worried heading into Penn State. This game will more than likely dictate the Irish season. Penn State (Priority: High): One of the most looked foward to games since Notre Dame vs. USC last year. Another crucial game to prove how good Notre Dame is and to make early BCS standings for when the poll comes out. Michigan (Priority: High): No one, and I mean NO ONE will come into our home again and push us around. Lloyd Carr is putting major emphasis on this game to prove Michigan is back. Michigan State (Priority: High): Spartans can't win at home, Irish can't win at home. I'd call it a W, but if the Irish defense sucks again, then MSU might break the ice. Purdue (Priority: Low): They have nothing. Irish should smoke these bastards Stanford (Priority: Low): It was tough for the Irish last year because Stanford was desparate for a bowl. Shouldn't be too difficult this year. I will be at the anime con this weekend too. UCLA (Priority: Medium): UCLA is a little down this year, but shouldn't be overlooked if Notre Dame's defense isn't good. Pac-10 teams score well. Navy (Priority: Medium): Gotta keep the win streak going, so its a medium priority matchup. North Carolina (Priority: Medium): I'm giving it a medium priority because I have never seen N.C. play Notre Dame in football, but I'm sure the Tar Heels would like to try and come out with a win in South Bend. Air Force (Priority: Low): Notre Dame has a good run defense, so I'm not really worried. Heck, I might drive up to Colorado Springs to see the game. Army (Priority: Low): What? Army sucks. USC (Priority: Extreme): Notre Dame MUST win this game, especially if they are undefeated coming into it. This will be the game of the year if it comes to that. It's time for revenge and it's time to go into The Lion's Den with a vengeance.
Their seasons kick off tonight. I hope they live up to the hype. I'll be back Sunday to give you all a wonderful quiz.
Before I begin, Vanisher interupted an awesome boob dream I was having to plague me again with pointless drivel since I "altered" his previous comments. He crawled on his knees and cried, saddened that I made poor satire out of him :(
I was asked three questions and I can answer them with three words: Not being pussies.
My bro was right, only obsessed celibate nerds will wait hand and foot for my updates so they can eat my hard crunchy nuts with tabasco sauce and give my life the extra meaning it deserves. So thank you, Alex, Jesus, Vanisher, Sam, John, etc. If it weren't for net nerds, crybabies, and pussies like you fellas, I'd be out of business.
I will now reveal the secret of destroying my site: Stop visiting it. It's as simple as that. It will be hard for you all to live on without my mighty truth and words of wisdom, but it's not my problem, I'll gain more fans. The more you visit my site, the more my hidden ticker goes up. So, it's simple: either accept me or be wrong and rejected.
Moving on to the important stuff of the world, more important than minimum wage workers like Lacky, the War on Terror, and Futanari, lets talk football (all of this I copied and pasted from my college football forum. Don't like it? Tough, you will read it).
ARIZONA WILDCATS
Returning Starters: 17 Key Players: QB Willie Tuitama, WR Michael Thomas, WR Syndric Steptoe, TE Brad Wood, LB Ronnie Palmer, LB Spencer Larsen, LB Dane Krogstad, CB Antoine Cason, CB Wilrey Fontenot, FS Brandon Tatum, SS Michael Johnson. Top Newcomer: DE Louis Holmes. 6'6" 275 lbs...this guy is a MONSTER. The most sought after recruit from Juco turns down USC, Oklahoma, LSU, Florida State, and Tenneessee to come to the rebuilding Arizona. From the Red/Blue game, this guy can cover the trenches so well, I wouldn't want to go up against him. Strengths: Offense shaping up nicely, great secondary, great linebackers, nice special teams Weaknesses: Can Arizona learn to finish this year or will they let more games slip through their fingers? The running game under Chris Henry might still be shakey, since he has slippery fingers half the time and his backup is a true freshman. How Arizona will go to a bowl: Obviously, the sparks last year under Willie Tuitama and a much better offense must pass into this season as well. Arizona has to play all 9 Pac 10 opponents this year and excitingly enough, the Pac is up for grabs. The secondary has to continue its superb work since the Pac is home to some high scoring wide receivers. Also, the LBs who were not always healthy at the same time must stay healthy in case the offense has early hiccups much like last year. Oh yeah, beating BYU on September 2nd will give them momentum. Beating USC will begin to draw my conclusions on the theory that Arizona can win the Pac-10. How Arizona will choke: Losing to BYU will probably destroy their hopes. This game is so crucial in dictating the season that it could possibly change the morale of the whole team in one way or another. Also, having injury woes again in the LB positions would definately kill them. Finishing in the 4th quarter is a must as well, since Arizona has given up 5 games in the last second by 7 or less. The point is made: Arizona can play. Now Arizona must prove they can win. How excited I am about this season: No words can describe it This could very well be bowl year or the Pac 10 crown. How nervous I am about this season: I'm sort of nervous about Arizona, not as much as Notre Dame, though. On a scale from 1 to 10, how confident I am in them going to a bowl: 10 Schedule Breakdown BYU (Priority: High): BYU is being regarded as a comeback team this year. Arizona needs this game to prove they are going to make a difference this year. A win here will get some Arizona bashers to shut up for a while. LSU (Priority: High): Going to Baton Rouge to play the Tigers is killer. While many doubt Arizona will win this game, if they do, USC is going down for sure. Heck, I'll take a close loss in this game too. Last time, LSU humiliated them in Tucson. This year, Arizona won't go down without a fight. Stephen F. Austin (Priority: Low): Beats the hell out of me why they'd pick these chumps, but hey, at least Arizona'll have a fun time in this game. USC (Priority: Extreme): Wow, USC is extreme to Notre Dame AND Arizona. This is the Pac-10 opener for them. Stoops put heavy emphasis on this game, even more than the ASU game. I will be at this game and believe me, if we win, I will be on those goalposts again. Washington (Priority: High): Ty Willingham pissed me off the way he had his QB throw bombs against Notre Dame and Arizona. He never did that for the Irish. Arizona should have won this game last year, but the UCLA game got to their heads. This year should be different. Kind of ironic its right after the USC game and it'd be even more ironic if Arizona beat USC coming into this one. UCLA (Priority: Medium): UCLA is gonna be looking for revenge in this game after we smoked them 52-14 last season. It's gonna be played in L.A. where a lot of people hate both my teams. It won't be a blow out, but I think Arizona can win since they don't have to worry about the Drews. Anime con weekend! Stanford (Priority: Medium): Gotta beat this sissies this year, can't forgive the Cats for that 20-16 loss to them in Tucson. Oregon State (Priority: Medium): Arizona's first Pac 10 victory last year. Now, the Beavers come to Tucson. Arizona can win this pretty convincingly as long as the season is going well. Washington State (Priority: Low): Hey, Auburn, after you manhandle them, save some for us! California (Priority: High): 2004: 38-0, 2005: 28-0, 2006: Cats have to at least score. This will be the most difficult game of the Pac-10 season. Oregon (Priority: High): Oregon is rebuilding quite nicely. Arizona has to go up to Eugene where the fans aren't friendly. Arizona needs this game to get revenge for letting the 28-21 debacle of 2005 slip through their fingers. Arizona State (Priority: Extreme): A game the Cats should have won in 2005, but will win in Tucson. If Arizona comes in 6-5, this will be their greatest challenge, as ASU would love to keep them out of a bowl. Now, a lot of you people must think I am crazy: Arizona winning the Pac-10 and going to the Rose Bowl??? Are you nuts, Patrick? California, USC, and Oregon can make mincemeat out of them!!! But what if Arizona beats BYU? What if they lose barely to LSU? What about beating USC and gaining so much strength from it, they push on to beat Cal and Oregon? Arizona has 17 starters coming back behind a strong recruiting class. If Arizona stays healthy, the offense makes even more immense strides, and the secondary is as stingy as ever, it can happen. I will still be satisfied with a bowl, but I can agree to some writers saying Arizona can win the Pac.
NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH
Preseason Status: National Contenders, Two Heisman candidates Returning Starters: 16 Key Players: QB Brady Quinn, WR Jeff Samardzija, WR Rhema McKnight, RB Darius Walker, SS Tom Zbikowski, LB Maurice Crum Jr Top Newcomer: RB James Aldridge. Since Weis wanted more speed on defense, he made a move in putting RB Travis Thomas to LB. Aldridge seems to be very quick and knowledgable of his position. I hope he is because Thomas is a very good RB and Walker will need a great backup if Thomas sticks to LB. Strengths: Explosive offense, great kick returner, All American QB, fantastic coach, experienced cornerback Weaknesses: With the defense still in speculation from last year's squad, which gave up nearly 340 yards a game, I still am a little concerned about their progress, but we'll see September 2nd for sure. How Notre Dame will win the National Championship: Obviously, if Brady Quinn stays in great shape and health, this will be a record breaking season for him. The defense must do better this year since there will be a lot of teams, such as Michigan and UCLA, looking to capitalize and get their revenge on the Irish. Notre Dame must avenge their loss to USC last year. If Notre Dame is undefeated coming into that game, that will be the biggest game of their lives, possibly even greater than the hyped Penn State match on the 9th of September. One loss does not eliminate the Irish from the National Championship this year since I believe this is going to be one of the toughest seasons for every big dog in the league. How Notre Dame will choke: Brady Quinn getting injured will be the biggest blow of them all. I don't think any of the other QBs will have enough experience to drag the Irish to an NC, but they are good enough to give them a winning season. Losing to Georgia Tech would startle me deeply because of how gung ho they are about beating the Irish and the fact that it could start the Willingham curse again. If the defense sucks again, forget about it. If Penn State and Michigan beat them, then the season is over. If any of the military schools beat them, I will be sick. How excited I am about this season: No words can describe it How nervous I am about this season: Very On a scale from 1 to 10, how confident I am in them winning the National Championship: 9 Schedule Breakdown Georgia Tech (Priority: High): They MUST win this game to solidify the season and show this isn't going to be the upset of the year right off the bat. If its a narrow victory, I won't be disappointed, but might be a little worried heading into Penn State. This game will more than likely dictate the Irish season. Penn State (Priority: High): One of the most looked foward to games since Notre Dame vs. USC last year. Another crucial game to prove how good Notre Dame is and to make early BCS standings for when the poll comes out. Michigan (Priority: High): No one, and I mean NO ONE will come into our home again and push us around. Lloyd Carr is putting major emphasis on this game to prove Michigan is back. Michigan State (Priority: High): Spartans can't win at home, Irish can't win at home. I'd call it a W, but if the Irish defense sucks again, then MSU might break the ice. Purdue (Priority: Low): They have nothing. Irish should smoke these bastards Stanford (Priority: Low): It was tough for the Irish last year because Stanford was desparate for a bowl. Shouldn't be too difficult this year. I will be at the anime con this weekend too. UCLA (Priority: Medium): UCLA is a little down this year, but shouldn't be overlooked if Notre Dame's defense isn't good. Pac-10 teams score well. Navy (Priority: Medium): Gotta keep the win streak going, so its a medium priority matchup. North Carolina (Priority: Medium): I'm giving it a medium priority because I have never seen N.C. play Notre Dame in football, but I'm sure the Tar Heels would like to try and come out with a win in South Bend. Air Force (Priority: Low): Notre Dame has a good run defense, so I'm not really worried. Heck, I might drive up to Colorado Springs to see the game. Army (Priority: Low): What? Army sucks. USC (Priority: Extreme): Notre Dame MUST win this game, especially if they are undefeated coming into it. This will be the game of the year if it comes to that. It's time for revenge and it's time to go into The Lion's Den with a vengeance.
Their seasons kick off tonight. I hope they live up to the hype. I'll be back Sunday to give you all a wonderful quiz.
posted by Grey Fox at 1:54 AM
2 Comments:
Stop reading your site???? Why would anyone want to? You delight and piss off so many people, it's hard not to miss! =P
I don't know much about American Football, but good luck to your teams!
Kind of a close one for Notre Dame there, but the defense looked better
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