Nan Desu Kan: Day One
THURSDAY
Our first stop, however, was to a town I used to live in, a town named Pueblo, Colorado (aka, Hell On Earth). Now, you're probably wondering why I would return to such a shithole after vowing never to return. Well, it just so happens I have some good friends there as well as my brother and his fiance and kid. My parents moved to Vegas, so, Tom is the only one left there.
We took off around 5 A.M. (its about a 11-12 hour drive from Tucson to Pueblo and we wanted to make sure we got there before Tom was finished with work so we could hang out) and went on the usual route. Breakfast consisted of Sausage Biscuts from McDonalds, which later resulted in diahrrea past Albuquerque. I am never again eating at a McDonalds thanks to that ridiculous shit. I emplore everyone to switch to Carl's Jr. or even Burger King. McDonalds now carries everything with bulk diahrrea added. April's driving has improved drastically (minus the part where she dozed off and I had to wake her up only to have her swirve the car left and right uncontrollably to where I had to grab the wheel and straighten her up), and she is quite the lead foot as well, which is what I need on these long trips.
After 11 1/2 hours, we finally arrived in Pueblo. We drove over to the gas station where my friend, Chris, worked. I went in and was immediately greeted by him. He told me that sadly, we couldn't see Misty (Tom's Fiance) or Millia (Tom's baby girl and yes, she is named after the chick from Guilty Gear Isuka) because Dan, Misty's dad,. had a heart attack. That was kind of a let down in both respects, but, I still got to see Tom as we took off for his office and waited for him to finish work. He came out of the building with longer hair and was completely dressed in black, good ol' Tom.
We went out to eat at Cactus Flower, the only good mexican joint in Pueblo (best salsa I have EVER had too and I know how to make it). Our conversation went as I expected: Notre Dame football, the family, Tony, things happening in Pueblo, things happening in Tucson, and our jobs. Tom got a kick out of hearing about Ginger and even Laura's response to me and my "bitterness."
After dinner, we went to Chris' house so I could look up where our hotels were for the con (I had completely forgotten). After some chat and hugs, April drove us up to Colorado Springs and a night at the Econo Lodge, a name that makes me laugh everytime I hear it....like right now, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I had gotten a room that looked spacious by the map, like a big suite. Alas, I was wrong, for after we unlocked the door, it was a hallway with our room located neatly near the door we just unlocked (in swinging distance) and another room down the hall. Econo indeed.
We washed up and watched some Simpsons before heading off to bed...or so we thought. The couple in the room down the hall thought it would be a great idea to keep us up all night arguing about how ugly the woman's outfits were. Yeah, what a great way to blow 2 hours in the middle of the night.
FRIDAY
We woke up around 10 A.M. giddy as school girls and got the fuck out of the Econo Lodge ASAP. I fueled up and got some cash for the con and off we went.
We got to Denver around noon and decided to scope out the con before heading over to the hotel (The tech center was booked, so we stayed at another hotel instead). Immediately, I saw the cosplayers and clutched April's hand. She told me everything was going to be alright. Upon exiting the car, we walked to the entrance of the convention center. Immediately, I saw a group of Final Fantasy female cosplayers, most of them thin. I pointed them out to April that they would be groped all weekend long and she chuckled and nodded.
You're probably wondering why I would say something so bold as that. Well, if you are a major nerd in any way, shape, or form (but you're in denial about what I am about to say), you understand nerds, or you're a flat out pervert, you know that whenever a nerd sees a thin, barely-clothed girl at a gaming/anime/pedophile con, they think that they have free dibs to touch them or put their arms around them and so on. One thing I have noticed from a lot of die hard nerd sub-cultures is that they have no shame whatsoever. Don't believe me? Go to ANY nerd webpage or nerd fetish website (for example, the loser at E3 who pretended to be in a wheelchair just to get his hands on the booth babes because he is too ugly and smelly to do so otherwise) and see for yourself. A lot of die hard nerds, the really fat guys in general, will probably NEVER get a girlfriend because of their inability to wash and to stop eating and not balance their love of anime with other hobbies, or even work.
Bringing up another point, I expected it, but was still disappointed by it. I refer to all the teenage girls who went to the con and dressed in those skimpy outfits (a lot of the Tifas did. Some were of age, others, well...). What the hell are their parents thinking (or smoking) letting their underage daughters go to a convention full of (and I speak in general) perverted nerds who will do anything to see a boob in their lives? I was totally shocked to see huge groups of girls gathering together in their outfits and being hassled by tons of guys who were twice their age! Some were even asking for pics with them and put their arms around them too (now, anyone can say its because they are fanboys, but trust me, its more than that. I guarantee that all those pics are being masturbated to by a guy living in his parent's basement). If I ever have a daughter, God forbid, and she wants to attend future cons with April and me (I'll still go since I find some enjoyment out of it), she isn't going with all her spots poking out for the sweaty jerks to touch and slobber over. When she is 18, she can do whatever the hell she wants (in general senses), but until then, you get the picture.
Off that tangent, we entered the convention center and saw them still setting up. I figured it would be a great opportunity to get a press badge for my site and to see if they would actually give me one. I went up to the counter and asked if I could get one. I was responded to by a fat, beared and unshowered 35 year old man who said that "Station isn't ready yet, sir." He said it in a tone like he felt he was important or something, which made me chuckle at him and reply "Yes, well done. Good hustle!"
With that said, we split the scene to check into the Townehouse Suites. The kick ass thing about this place was the fact that it was a lot like living at home: a queen bed, a nice living space, cable TV, high speed internet access, and a fully stocked kitchen. I was thinking about updating over the weekend, but, since I was on vacation and I needed a break, I decided to wait until I had time...which meant after my busy week at Cisco.
After watching some TV and giving April time to work on a project due in school, we went back to the tech center, me in my Corona shirt and April with her cat ears, mask, and leash on me, and we took off. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with indulging in some strange fantasies, as long as it doesn't dominate your life. I went over to Ops and actually got a press badge after I showed them my old UA CatCard. I thought it would be cool to do some freelance work for The Daily Wildcat, but I also figured I'd interview Stan, the owner of SquidWorks (article coming soon, Stan!).
I began by scoping out the con, taking pics here and there and checking out the bar (where I'd watch some Notre Dame football tomorrow). I really liked one outfit a girl was wearing near the costume contest table. I began to sing, "From everydayyyy, turnnnn, turnnn, turnnnn." to her since her back was turned. She laughed and turned around posing. To my poor dismay, some brutish Bruce Willis wanna-be came out of no where and started a condescending voice to me (much like you treat a child), asking me to say please and be polite. I laughed in his face and showed him my press badge, saying in a condescending tone as well, "I'm the press, obey me." I chuckled as well as April, but, for some reason, the poor bastard didn't find it funny. Well, staff or no staff, there's no need to interfere with someone's business if he's not doing ANY form of harm. The poor guy probably has no control over his own life, so he volunteers as a staff member to boss nerds around and feel superior. Wow, what a great future this guy has!
After that small (and very gay) debacle, I decided to check out the art room while April went to sit down and read the program. I always loved the artwork and the music videos at anime cons (minus the really crappy videos that use horrible wuss rock songs and pretentious scenes). I walked around the art room, seeing some really cool abstracts as well as some decent maid and cat girl drawings. Some of the paintings there, especially done by that japanese girl I saw , were outstanding. Then, of course, I saw some that totally made me laugh and shake my head at the same time. The Teen Titans ones were so...perverted, and yes, I say perverted. Wanna know why? THE ARTIST GAVE THE GIRLS IN IT BIG BOOBS AND EVEN FURTHER, SCENES THAT QUESTION LESBIANISM! Come on, what is so attractive about that art style, let alone, TEENAGERS??? I say this if the artist is an adult himself. Holy shit, that creeped me out so much to where I was literally considering finding that artist and beating him over the head repeatively with his own artwork. What was worse was seeing that one chick from YuGiOh kissing Yugi. Ok, not bad, except the fact she had MASSIVE TITS AND HER CLEAVAGE WAS OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE.
You know, I'll admit, I love hentai and I love porn and so on. However, masturbating to YuGiOh or Teen Titans characters is just....incredible (and I don't mean it in a good way). Come on, look at the way the Teen Titans are drawn. What is so hot about it? As for YuGiOh, shit, those characters barely have any personality as it is. "Oh, but we can make up our own fantasy or even fanfics about it!" Yeahhhhhhhh, great, nothin like bein an adult and fucking under-developed pussy in your fanfics while you munch on funyons and drink mountain dew all day in your parent's basement (note: mountain dew and funyons rule, living in your parent's basement at 36 BADDDDDDDDDDDDD).
ANYway, after checking out the art room, I moved on to the dealer's room with April. There was a ton of good stuff there, as usual. Immediately, I got the rest of the Petshop of Horrors Manga I needed to finish (and this series blew me away at the end). I also went to check out some anime paintings and blankets done by this one guy. I gotta admit, he had a lot of talent despite his shabby appearance. Like I said before, however, a successful nerd/jerd/geek is better than a useless one (like our staff member, Bruce Willis Bizzaro). I then went to the hentai section with mall the comics, DVDs, and games and got into a conversation with Paul who was cosplaying as Squall from Final Fantasy 8. Paul is 24 and he was a really cool guy. We talked about some football and he really had some good laughs at my knocks on anime fans. He kept asking me advice on what hentai games he should get (since I used to play a ton of those when I had no life back in grade school). I also ran into a girl I met at the con last year. The poor girl got in a car accident, but she was glad to see me and also glad to hear I graduated with honors from UA (I was a senior last year). Another little stint arised which was shot down instantly by my wonderful asshole tactics. There was an emo looking girl next to me in the hentai section looking at some DVDs. She asked me if I had seen Princess 69. REGRETFULLY, I HAVE. THIS HENTAI IS THE SICKEST SHIT IN THE WORLD AND ANYONE WHO LOVES IT SHOULD BE SHOT! I told her it was disgusting and she agreed after looking at the back of it. I then laughed and asked her if she was emo. She laughed and said, and I quote: "Fuck emo." I gave her a big pat on the back and a high five for her truth. She was called over by a friend holding up a Bondage Queen Kate DVD (which also sucked because the sex was so stupid). I laughed at it and said, boy, that one was rather dumb too. Her bitch of a friend said, "Well, I didn't ask for your opinion." to which I replied: "Well, you're gonna hear my opinion whether you like it or not. I'm the truth, bitch!" Her friend ACTUALLY laughed at me for saying that. Knowing all was well, I went back to the bar.
While there, I met Joey and his wife, Tabitha (along with Jesse and his friends). They were, without a doubt, the BEST group to talk with there. I mentioned that I had Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and Joey gave me a fantastic idea: buy CD-Rs and burn them and sell them for 5 bucks each. The light bulb in my head went on and suddenly, the con turned not only into fun and relaxation, but profit as well! I promised many that April and I would get CD-Rs and burn them for everyone.
After that, April and I got in the line for the costume contest and we spent a good...2 hours there, heh. I talked with this really cool guy named John and we talked about football, anime, and I also mentioned all the girls that were going to get groped at the con. He got a really big kick out of that. His plans for that evening were to go and get drunk awith some chicks. Now THAT is a real BACHELOR.
Having signed up for the con, April and I split and went to dinner at Dave and Buster's. I had a good meal and broke my Time Crisis II record for points. I also played the kick ass GHOST Squad game with someone else. We worked like a great team (for example, he freed hostages, I covered him).
After that fun night, April and I returned to the hotel and I began buring Advent Children and watched James Bond.
That's it for day one. Day two consists of football, pics, the costume contest, and owning in Doom 3. Stay tuned!
posted by Grey Fox at 8:10 PM
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