Going To College? A Tip From A College Grad: Get Your Own Room
I loved attending the University of Arizona. I had some good classes, made a few good friends, went to football and basketball games, partied, met my fiance, and GRADUATED.
It wasn't all corona, caviar, and dominatrix sex, sadly. My freshman year was probably the worst experience of my life (which then resulted in a great lesson and a great learning experience to turn me into the sarcastic prick I am today). One thing that can ruin the college experience entirely, and many don't know it, is living in a dorm.
When I entered college, I was messy and disorganized. I wanted my parents to get me my own dorm room or 1 bedroom apartment (they had 200 grand set aside for me since they cared so much about my education. Yes, I was a fortunate individual), but they said it was too expensive, which kind of made me laugh a bit. They told me that part of the college experience was to live with a stranger and learn to adapt to it. I burst out into intense laughter, asking them if they listened to what they just said. Part of the college experience is to live with a stranger. That's like saying part of the drinking experience is to get rim jobbed by a man named Sancho. I begged them, because I knew I was messy and I knew I was going to piss my roomate off. My parents said it would teach me a lesson to become cleaner. I found this to be rather ironic, since they wanted me to graduate from college, but, they were setting out to make it more and more difficult.
The first roomate I had was a black dude from L.A. named Daniel Leathers. He was pretty cool and friendly at first, but, I knew once he saw how messy I was, it was going to be hell. At first, he really didn't mind. That wasn't the problem, it was my time spent in the room that began to upset him for some odd reason. I had just gotten my own computer for once in my life and I had high speed internet and a DVD player. I was renting movies from blockbuster so I could catch up and so on. Daniel, for the strangest reason, pseudo-morphed into my father, and told me not to be in the room and do that stuff. I was confused, analyzing if my life was his or, obviously, mine. After extensive laboratory tests using a gerbil, a wheel, and a turbine generator, I discovered my life was my own and carried on as usual.
That didn't make DL Money happy at all. He got stern and told me to let him sleep in during the mornings. I respected that (also, since I used to be a big pussy and didn't speak out enough, I just complied) and hung out at the library to do homework. It became a problem due to the fact I had assignments on my computer that I wanted to do in the comfort of my home, but, since I was a pussy, I did nothing to solve the problem (I was too damn nice to the wrong people).
My problem with him never came from me being messy, as that was my choice alone, it was him trying to get me to stop liking my hobbies. After he got his cousin to try and get me to stop watching anime, I decided to just give up being nice and continue to be messier. It drove him nuts, but I just didn't care. I put up a front pretending I did (I am really good at manipulating people) and when I was out of the room, I went on my slutty dates and plotted more ways to make his life miserable. He was in better shape than me at the time, so, combat was out of the question, and I stuck to my wits and my intelligence to just take him for a ride.
I moved in with a different roomate, named Jordan. He and I had a lot in common, but, my messiness was an issue, but the worst he did was trying to turn me into an ass-kissing robot like him. He almost suceeded, until I had the worst summer of my life and I evolved into who I am today: an "you nice to me, i be nice back, independent conservative, jerd, asshole."
I'm not blaming anyone for my problems, but, the fact can be made to show that some influences created a new (and better) part of me today. The moral of this tale is: It is immoral to give charity and compassion unconditionally to those who are undeserving. Aka, don't treat people who are mean to you like family, like I did.
Dorm life is really gay. I know that's unprofessional of me to refer to it as gay, but, I will prove one point about it that will show why I call it gay.
Let's face it, if you're not doomed in the nerd/anime/video game obsession, you're gonna end up being with someone for the rest of your life, and old habits must change or you must adjust a bit (change is too absolete). Honestly, it shouldn't have to take living in a dorm to develop you. You live, eat, sleep, and study in the same room as someone else of your same gender. Unless you're homosexual, well, that is rather gay (but I understand the morals, we don't want guys living with girls for the obvious reasons ourtside of sex). Regardless, your parents should be the ones to get on your case about cleaning your room or showering, and so on. In return, you should do as they say, no matter what age you are, because as long as you live under their roof, you follow their rules or go back to Russia.
Why would anyone want to live in a dorm in the first place either than having no choice? Oh, so they throw parties, big whoop. Look how big the rooms are, they are the size of prison cells and TWO people have to live in them!!!! Having parties in dorms is stupid anyway, due to the fact that you're gonna have underage drinkers in a hall that not only has quiet hours, but, a Resident Assistant as well. They will call the cops on you if you are drinking underage or doing drugs because its their job. If you wanna party, be a fucking man and go to a fucking apartment or house.
Not only do you have to live with someone in a cubicle, but, you also have to shower in a public bathroom. Of course, you need to stay clean, but, the truth of the matter is, a lot of people need privacy as well. I hardly ever showered in the dorm hall, or showered at all, I admit. I, as Daniel said to one of my aquantices, was afraid of showering in a public bathroom. Why? Three reasons: One, the floor was ALWAYS dirty. Sure, you can wear flip flops and shit like that, but, it didn't make a difference, since I got 3 planters warts from the fucking floor. Since Tucson is in the middle of the Sonoran Desert and I had to walk to my classes in heat, the warts, of course, hurt like fucking hell due to the sweat building up in my socks and the distances I had to walk. Hygene was not as important to me as passing classes (the following year, I stayed clean, since I finally got April), plus, I didn't have a girlfriend, so, it made no fucking difference to me, as selfish as it sounds. Let me tell you, you gotta be selfish in college or you will NEVER suceed. If you can't help yourself first, you won't be able to help others later.
The second reason, was the obvious fact that I had to shower near other guys. Now, I was once called a faggot for being a CIS major. I found that funny, since this was a guy who played Rugby and patted other guys' asses and then showered with them. Its odd how liking an inanimate object non-sexually makes you gay, whereas touching other guys and showering with them doesn't. Anyway, yeah, I don't like showering with guys. I love showering with April because she's a girl and it has lucrative opportunities. So, what benefits would I have gotten from showering in a public restroom with other guys who probably wanted to kick my ass at any minute (I had a lot of enemies)? Either than getting clean, nothing really. Here's a tip: If you are a night owl, shower at 3 in the morning, while everyone else sleeps. It worked some miracles for me.
Thirdly, the showers suck. There is no fucking way you can get fully cleaned from poor maintained water systems like we had there. If staying clean is so important, then why didn't they enforce it and put more money into better shower facilities? Oh, that's right, dorm activities like student government and super bowl parties are more important than your own health, I forgot. (Disclaimer: Super Bowl Parties, Good. Sutdent Government, Bad).
Moving into an apartment was the greatest idea of my life. Although I had to live with two other people, I at least got my own room, had a working shower that I used everyday, and kept everything outside of my room clean. So, I was able to be a bit messy with my own room and not get shit for it (though I cleaned it more often than I used to).
The bottom line: Dorm life only taught me one thing: to nver re-live it ever again. It is not fun, exciting, or a new experience, no matter what kind of person you are (unless you're the type that loves to live with strangers or you like getting raped). Dorm life is just an over-hyped and big waste of time that leads to unresolvable conflicts, poor hygene, low self-esteem, and the potential of getting your corn hole fucked in the shower by the "non-gay" Rugby team.
It wasn't all corona, caviar, and dominatrix sex, sadly. My freshman year was probably the worst experience of my life (which then resulted in a great lesson and a great learning experience to turn me into the sarcastic prick I am today). One thing that can ruin the college experience entirely, and many don't know it, is living in a dorm.
When I entered college, I was messy and disorganized. I wanted my parents to get me my own dorm room or 1 bedroom apartment (they had 200 grand set aside for me since they cared so much about my education. Yes, I was a fortunate individual), but they said it was too expensive, which kind of made me laugh a bit. They told me that part of the college experience was to live with a stranger and learn to adapt to it. I burst out into intense laughter, asking them if they listened to what they just said. Part of the college experience is to live with a stranger. That's like saying part of the drinking experience is to get rim jobbed by a man named Sancho. I begged them, because I knew I was messy and I knew I was going to piss my roomate off. My parents said it would teach me a lesson to become cleaner. I found this to be rather ironic, since they wanted me to graduate from college, but, they were setting out to make it more and more difficult.
The first roomate I had was a black dude from L.A. named Daniel Leathers. He was pretty cool and friendly at first, but, I knew once he saw how messy I was, it was going to be hell. At first, he really didn't mind. That wasn't the problem, it was my time spent in the room that began to upset him for some odd reason. I had just gotten my own computer for once in my life and I had high speed internet and a DVD player. I was renting movies from blockbuster so I could catch up and so on. Daniel, for the strangest reason, pseudo-morphed into my father, and told me not to be in the room and do that stuff. I was confused, analyzing if my life was his or, obviously, mine. After extensive laboratory tests using a gerbil, a wheel, and a turbine generator, I discovered my life was my own and carried on as usual.
That didn't make DL Money happy at all. He got stern and told me to let him sleep in during the mornings. I respected that (also, since I used to be a big pussy and didn't speak out enough, I just complied) and hung out at the library to do homework. It became a problem due to the fact I had assignments on my computer that I wanted to do in the comfort of my home, but, since I was a pussy, I did nothing to solve the problem (I was too damn nice to the wrong people).
My problem with him never came from me being messy, as that was my choice alone, it was him trying to get me to stop liking my hobbies. After he got his cousin to try and get me to stop watching anime, I decided to just give up being nice and continue to be messier. It drove him nuts, but I just didn't care. I put up a front pretending I did (I am really good at manipulating people) and when I was out of the room, I went on my slutty dates and plotted more ways to make his life miserable. He was in better shape than me at the time, so, combat was out of the question, and I stuck to my wits and my intelligence to just take him for a ride.
I moved in with a different roomate, named Jordan. He and I had a lot in common, but, my messiness was an issue, but the worst he did was trying to turn me into an ass-kissing robot like him. He almost suceeded, until I had the worst summer of my life and I evolved into who I am today: an "you nice to me, i be nice back, independent conservative, jerd, asshole."
I'm not blaming anyone for my problems, but, the fact can be made to show that some influences created a new (and better) part of me today. The moral of this tale is: It is immoral to give charity and compassion unconditionally to those who are undeserving. Aka, don't treat people who are mean to you like family, like I did.
Dorm life is really gay. I know that's unprofessional of me to refer to it as gay, but, I will prove one point about it that will show why I call it gay.
Let's face it, if you're not doomed in the nerd/anime/video game obsession, you're gonna end up being with someone for the rest of your life, and old habits must change or you must adjust a bit (change is too absolete). Honestly, it shouldn't have to take living in a dorm to develop you. You live, eat, sleep, and study in the same room as someone else of your same gender. Unless you're homosexual, well, that is rather gay (but I understand the morals, we don't want guys living with girls for the obvious reasons ourtside of sex). Regardless, your parents should be the ones to get on your case about cleaning your room or showering, and so on. In return, you should do as they say, no matter what age you are, because as long as you live under their roof, you follow their rules or go back to Russia.
Why would anyone want to live in a dorm in the first place either than having no choice? Oh, so they throw parties, big whoop. Look how big the rooms are, they are the size of prison cells and TWO people have to live in them!!!! Having parties in dorms is stupid anyway, due to the fact that you're gonna have underage drinkers in a hall that not only has quiet hours, but, a Resident Assistant as well. They will call the cops on you if you are drinking underage or doing drugs because its their job. If you wanna party, be a fucking man and go to a fucking apartment or house.
Not only do you have to live with someone in a cubicle, but, you also have to shower in a public bathroom. Of course, you need to stay clean, but, the truth of the matter is, a lot of people need privacy as well. I hardly ever showered in the dorm hall, or showered at all, I admit. I, as Daniel said to one of my aquantices, was afraid of showering in a public bathroom. Why? Three reasons: One, the floor was ALWAYS dirty. Sure, you can wear flip flops and shit like that, but, it didn't make a difference, since I got 3 planters warts from the fucking floor. Since Tucson is in the middle of the Sonoran Desert and I had to walk to my classes in heat, the warts, of course, hurt like fucking hell due to the sweat building up in my socks and the distances I had to walk. Hygene was not as important to me as passing classes (the following year, I stayed clean, since I finally got April), plus, I didn't have a girlfriend, so, it made no fucking difference to me, as selfish as it sounds. Let me tell you, you gotta be selfish in college or you will NEVER suceed. If you can't help yourself first, you won't be able to help others later.
The second reason, was the obvious fact that I had to shower near other guys. Now, I was once called a faggot for being a CIS major. I found that funny, since this was a guy who played Rugby and patted other guys' asses and then showered with them. Its odd how liking an inanimate object non-sexually makes you gay, whereas touching other guys and showering with them doesn't. Anyway, yeah, I don't like showering with guys. I love showering with April because she's a girl and it has lucrative opportunities. So, what benefits would I have gotten from showering in a public restroom with other guys who probably wanted to kick my ass at any minute (I had a lot of enemies)? Either than getting clean, nothing really. Here's a tip: If you are a night owl, shower at 3 in the morning, while everyone else sleeps. It worked some miracles for me.
Thirdly, the showers suck. There is no fucking way you can get fully cleaned from poor maintained water systems like we had there. If staying clean is so important, then why didn't they enforce it and put more money into better shower facilities? Oh, that's right, dorm activities like student government and super bowl parties are more important than your own health, I forgot. (Disclaimer: Super Bowl Parties, Good. Sutdent Government, Bad).
Moving into an apartment was the greatest idea of my life. Although I had to live with two other people, I at least got my own room, had a working shower that I used everyday, and kept everything outside of my room clean. So, I was able to be a bit messy with my own room and not get shit for it (though I cleaned it more often than I used to).
The bottom line: Dorm life only taught me one thing: to nver re-live it ever again. It is not fun, exciting, or a new experience, no matter what kind of person you are (unless you're the type that loves to live with strangers or you like getting raped). Dorm life is just an over-hyped and big waste of time that leads to unresolvable conflicts, poor hygene, low self-esteem, and the potential of getting your corn hole fucked in the shower by the "non-gay" Rugby team.
posted by Grey Fox at 12:22 PM
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