Uh oh, I'm An American War Nerd!
Ever heard of Mars Volta? Yeah, he really sucks bad, doesn't he? He sucks as much as I suck for hating him. We are a big suck of sucking sucks that suck! Apparently, sending humor out (as something awful knows) and opinions about others to the public, or even to them, is against the law. You see, having your own opinion in any country today makes you a criminal because you don't run along with the mainstream pack. Oh, shame on all of us "outcasts" for having our own thoughts!
Anyway, as I was scoping out Something Awful at work a week ago, I noticed another "fan mail" response link go up on their link, "Your Band Sucks." Thinking that it was going to be on something different, I clicked the link, only to have my jaw drop and long amounts of chuckle escape my throat at people STILL upset with the Mars Volta review.
Last month, Dr. Thorpe reviewed Mars Volta in his usual humorous and satirical ways. However, a few gentlemen, liberal pussies mainly, screamed and bashed their heads on the sinks of their bathrooms, not to get a part on the sequel to Cyber Seduction, but because their muzak was made fun of. OH JESUS CHRIST, SOMEONE MADE FUN OF MUSIC, EVEN THOUGH IT HAPPENS EVERY GOD DAMN DAY! I'M GONNA GO CUT MY WRISTS BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES MY CRAP TASTE!
The best part about reading the responses from the many fans is that their e-mails are left to the open public. Now, I feel that since they can e-mail total strangers with their love and admiration, I can too! Therefore, I e-mailed a chap by the name of "bogussounds" with my love and admiration:
To:bogussounds@gmail.com
From: grey.fox37@gmail.com
Subject: Mars Volta
Hmmm.
I just read your email about "The Mars Volta" and realised that I hadn't read anything so childish and naive since I began reading just yesterday! YAY ME, I GET A POPSICLE FROM THE FREEZER NOW! I also noticed you claim you know about music and you claim he doesn't know anything, when the truth of the matter is, this is a site for satire and sarcasm. If you don't like the fact that he makes fun of things you like, I like, and everyone else likes, go back to Russia. If that doesn't work out, see if you can get a job at Green Peace. I heard they have jobs for liberal whiners like you that want to ruin everyone's lives.Send me a song about yours. I'd LOVE to hear how much of a talented and creative person you are, although that is unlikely for someone who gets upset over one little review and thinks he is a genius to tell people like Lowtax that he is an idiot. Have fun with your turtle!
Your loving fan,
Grey Fox
--The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his
I thought this e-mail was sound and fair, seeing that he couldn't handle one little fucking review about a crap musician (if we can call him that). I wasn't expecting a response, but, well, seeing as how cool and sexy and super fantastic I am, I got a reply:
To:grey.fox37@gmail.com
From: bogussounds@gmail.com
Subject: Mars Volta
Follow the link.
Yes i am a musician and record producer.
Thanks for your extremely useless and wasteful remarks.
No I don't claim that the Dr. was in actual fact musically inept, I was just saying what it appeared to me.
I'm sure a turtle would be fun.
NO I don't claim i am a genius.
Yes i am th leader of th New Zealand peace corp. so applying for a job at green peace would be a very dumb thing to do.
I didn't intend the message as hate mail, i wasn't even aware that he posted emails on his site.
~A
www.killthezodiac.netfirms.com
By the way, sarcasm is technically not a form of humour.
He claims it wasn't a hate mail, and yet, he called Dr. Thorpe "childish and naive." SOUNDS PRETTY HATEFUL TO ME! This guy also thinks he is so funny and witty playing along with me in my sarcasm, but, sadly, he proves one sad detail that totally invalidates any argument from here on: he is from New Zealand. I wasn't going to get racial, since he wasn't being racial himself. I love how he said joining Green Peace would be a dumb idea when he is already a member of the New Zealand Peace Corp. I looked up this stuff, and, minus the eco-friendly stuff, they operate and act the SAME way Green Peace does! Yes, they whine, bitch, and do whatever it takes to make people cry for being human. The final comment of sarcasm being technically not a form of humor is the most irrelevant line in the e-mail. You can say, the sky isn't blue, 1+1 does not equal 2, or Brittney Spears is the greatest pop singer of our shit generation. SARCASM IS FUNNY, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU PERCEIVE IT. Finally, I followed the link and my GOD, his music...well...noises, to be honest, were causing my ears to quiver from the quaking tremors of pain it was causing.
Clearly, he had to be warned, so, I wrote back:
Ha ha ha ha, no problem. That's what I am here for, to waste remarks on people so "intelligent" and "cool" as you are.
By the way, I've heard better music from a child's harmonica than the rubbish you compose. Nice hustle on the reply, too!
This time, I was nice enough to comment his superior intellect and also warn him of his horrendous music. Unfortunately, he took further offense and replied with this:
Thanks.
Tell you what, check out the link in 2 years and we'll see what usless remarks you come up with then.
WOW, American war nerds, that's a new one, we don't have those in N.Z
Yes it was a hustle (I presume).
Holy used condoms, Batman, HE USED AN ETHNIC SLUR! After being so nice and the build up on his response even started with a thanks, I end with such sadness and anger from this poor kiwi. UH OH, I USED AN ETHNIC SLUR ON HIM AS WELL! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. Upon reading his comment on the two year fame he will never have, I will take him up on his offer, as long as he gives out free beer and money for his flash in the pan fame, he wants so bad. However, I am not going to give my hopes up on waiting at my computer day after day, anticipating his "future." Suddenly, when I got to line 3, I dropped my Thompson M1928 I cling to everyday because I am an American War Nerd awaiting the return of the Red Coats. Oh no, I'm an American War Nerd now! SAY IT AN'T SO, BOGUS, SAY IT AN'T SO! I can't believe that pro-war fellows are so doomed! I mean, look at our patriotic country full of wusses and rebels, compared to the wonderful "fush n' chups" pussies of New Zealand! While we are prepared to kick Al Queda's ass and then rule the world because we are the "evil dominating invaders of America," they're preparing to fuck sheep the moment the Prime Minister gets out of his room and puts some damn pants on for once! Let's see, fuck sheep or fight for safety of people and our investments? Hm, what a tough choice!
I replied, laughing at him for continuing to respond to me. He stopped, getting the picture that I am a "stubborn, American War Nerd." I can't wait until he dies of skin cancer from the ozone hole above his little island, thus rendering his career over, as it should be.
Anyway, as I was scoping out Something Awful at work a week ago, I noticed another "fan mail" response link go up on their link, "Your Band Sucks." Thinking that it was going to be on something different, I clicked the link, only to have my jaw drop and long amounts of chuckle escape my throat at people STILL upset with the Mars Volta review.
Last month, Dr. Thorpe reviewed Mars Volta in his usual humorous and satirical ways. However, a few gentlemen, liberal pussies mainly, screamed and bashed their heads on the sinks of their bathrooms, not to get a part on the sequel to Cyber Seduction, but because their muzak was made fun of. OH JESUS CHRIST, SOMEONE MADE FUN OF MUSIC, EVEN THOUGH IT HAPPENS EVERY GOD DAMN DAY! I'M GONNA GO CUT MY WRISTS BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES MY CRAP TASTE!
The best part about reading the responses from the many fans is that their e-mails are left to the open public. Now, I feel that since they can e-mail total strangers with their love and admiration, I can too! Therefore, I e-mailed a chap by the name of "bogussounds" with my love and admiration:
To:bogussounds@gmail.com
From: grey.fox37@gmail.com
Subject: Mars Volta
Hmmm.
I just read your email about "The Mars Volta" and realised that I hadn't read anything so childish and naive since I began reading just yesterday! YAY ME, I GET A POPSICLE FROM THE FREEZER NOW! I also noticed you claim you know about music and you claim he doesn't know anything, when the truth of the matter is, this is a site for satire and sarcasm. If you don't like the fact that he makes fun of things you like, I like, and everyone else likes, go back to Russia. If that doesn't work out, see if you can get a job at Green Peace. I heard they have jobs for liberal whiners like you that want to ruin everyone's lives.Send me a song about yours. I'd LOVE to hear how much of a talented and creative person you are, although that is unlikely for someone who gets upset over one little review and thinks he is a genius to tell people like Lowtax that he is an idiot. Have fun with your turtle!
Your loving fan,
Grey Fox
--The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his
I thought this e-mail was sound and fair, seeing that he couldn't handle one little fucking review about a crap musician (if we can call him that). I wasn't expecting a response, but, well, seeing as how cool and sexy and super fantastic I am, I got a reply:
To:grey.fox37@gmail.com
From: bogussounds@gmail.com
Subject: Mars Volta
Follow the link.
Yes i am a musician and record producer.
Thanks for your extremely useless and wasteful remarks.
No I don't claim that the Dr. was in actual fact musically inept, I was just saying what it appeared to me.
I'm sure a turtle would be fun.
NO I don't claim i am a genius.
Yes i am th leader of th New Zealand peace corp. so applying for a job at green peace would be a very dumb thing to do.
I didn't intend the message as hate mail, i wasn't even aware that he posted emails on his site.
~A
www.killthezodiac.netfirms.com
By the way, sarcasm is technically not a form of humour.
He claims it wasn't a hate mail, and yet, he called Dr. Thorpe "childish and naive." SOUNDS PRETTY HATEFUL TO ME! This guy also thinks he is so funny and witty playing along with me in my sarcasm, but, sadly, he proves one sad detail that totally invalidates any argument from here on: he is from New Zealand. I wasn't going to get racial, since he wasn't being racial himself. I love how he said joining Green Peace would be a dumb idea when he is already a member of the New Zealand Peace Corp. I looked up this stuff, and, minus the eco-friendly stuff, they operate and act the SAME way Green Peace does! Yes, they whine, bitch, and do whatever it takes to make people cry for being human. The final comment of sarcasm being technically not a form of humor is the most irrelevant line in the e-mail. You can say, the sky isn't blue, 1+1 does not equal 2, or Brittney Spears is the greatest pop singer of our shit generation. SARCASM IS FUNNY, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU PERCEIVE IT. Finally, I followed the link and my GOD, his music...well...noises, to be honest, were causing my ears to quiver from the quaking tremors of pain it was causing.
Clearly, he had to be warned, so, I wrote back:
Ha ha ha ha, no problem. That's what I am here for, to waste remarks on people so "intelligent" and "cool" as you are.
By the way, I've heard better music from a child's harmonica than the rubbish you compose. Nice hustle on the reply, too!
This time, I was nice enough to comment his superior intellect and also warn him of his horrendous music. Unfortunately, he took further offense and replied with this:
Thanks.
Tell you what, check out the link in 2 years and we'll see what usless remarks you come up with then.
WOW, American war nerds, that's a new one, we don't have those in N.Z
Yes it was a hustle (I presume).
Holy used condoms, Batman, HE USED AN ETHNIC SLUR! After being so nice and the build up on his response even started with a thanks, I end with such sadness and anger from this poor kiwi. UH OH, I USED AN ETHNIC SLUR ON HIM AS WELL! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. Upon reading his comment on the two year fame he will never have, I will take him up on his offer, as long as he gives out free beer and money for his flash in the pan fame, he wants so bad. However, I am not going to give my hopes up on waiting at my computer day after day, anticipating his "future." Suddenly, when I got to line 3, I dropped my Thompson M1928 I cling to everyday because I am an American War Nerd awaiting the return of the Red Coats. Oh no, I'm an American War Nerd now! SAY IT AN'T SO, BOGUS, SAY IT AN'T SO! I can't believe that pro-war fellows are so doomed! I mean, look at our patriotic country full of wusses and rebels, compared to the wonderful "fush n' chups" pussies of New Zealand! While we are prepared to kick Al Queda's ass and then rule the world because we are the "evil dominating invaders of America," they're preparing to fuck sheep the moment the Prime Minister gets out of his room and puts some damn pants on for once! Let's see, fuck sheep or fight for safety of people and our investments? Hm, what a tough choice!
I replied, laughing at him for continuing to respond to me. He stopped, getting the picture that I am a "stubborn, American War Nerd." I can't wait until he dies of skin cancer from the ozone hole above his little island, thus rendering his career over, as it should be.
posted by Grey Fox at 6:38 AM
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