Apparently, Scientists Say 21 Is The Proper Age To Start Drinking, Buttttttt....

Having gone to the Univeristy of Arizona, I know how pressuring it was to drink underage and how tempting it was as well (I didn't start until I was 20 years and 4 months). When I was a Freshman, I didn't drink because I had just gotten into the college of my dreams and I didn't have a wish to end it so soon like my wonderful "friends" from the center wing at Hopi Lodge, 2001-02 (poor Daniel Leathers being one of them). After my first semester, Sophomore year, I split and hung low, not out of fear, but, to re-adjust my sociality. I had realized I was being shoved around by small-dicked, arrogant muscle heads who's only life ambition was to fuck as many women as possible and try making me feel jealous about it (I put on a nice act that I was, just for kicks).

To say the least, I had a lot of one week relationships with hot babes my Freshman year that ended when I wouldn't put out (thus, making me feel depressed and sad in front of people at Hopi. I never told a soul because I knew no one would believe me). Oh well, I'm engaged now and that's all that matters.

Anyway, I had left Hopi Lodge and moved into a very nice apartment complex in the foothills in January of 2003. The commute to school was longer, but, I was ready to start anew. Around that time, my interests in anime subsided (I had realized I needed to tone down talking about it, but still like it), I still loved games, and I was able to find more things to talk about with people. After a few weeks, I had a ton of people coming into my apartment for partying, chatting, and so on. I had no need to look for a girlfriend, since I already had one, so, socializing was a lot easier than before.

Everything began to click into place: my grades improved (they were good before, but I was getting better GPAs), I had a variety of people to talk to, ranging from gamers to anime fans to sports chums and even chicks who shared their problems with me. I had never felt so alive until then.

One night, I threw a back to school party for my junior year. I figured we all needed one last hurrah before hittin the books again. By that time, I had been drinking regularly for 8 months and still hadn't gotten drunk (I'd rather laugh at people than be laughed at to be honest). It was eight days before my 21st, but I wanted to party early. Unfortunately, we were loud and obnoxious, and wouldn't you know it, the Tucson Police arrive right on scehdule and MIP (Minor In Possession) about 15 people at my party. Luckily, my buddies weren't arrested for providing the booze, as I mentioned the previous owner had a secret stash of it in this place (I found a 6 pack of fat tire when I moved in, so, technically, it wasn't a lie). Ironically enough, several more students were MIPed as well, thus making it one of the biggest busts in Tucson history.

The cool part about it was my court date was a Saturday, which meant the cop that cited me was being generous (no court on weekends), knowing that I was close to my legal birthday and that my BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) was only .01 (I had 1 1/2 drinks. I partied hard, but didn't feel like drinking too much). I also got to keep my breath tube, which I am planning on turning into a necklace (It's a good luck charm for how lucky I was to get off the hook). I only got a warning from the UA and then went about my happy life once again.

Now, I am not spreading a moral around for this little tale, but, if you absolutely MUST have one, then it would be: "If you wanna drink underage, go for it, just don't be loud or with strangers."

I went off on a dull tangent there, whew. Where was I? OH YES! Lookie here, I've got two new partners in crime joining me on my quest to destroy the world and point out how utterly despicable you mainstream sheep are! Snaps for Sanity and her punch towards Brittney Spears wanna-be teen girls!

Now, let's get to the point. I've recently read an article out of The Daily Wildcat (my university's newspaper) that made some of the FUNNIEST loads of shit I have EVER read about underage drinking. Cops have magically turned into professors with an astute knowledge of alcohol, if you get caught for having a beer, you get sent into a fantastic program to take a highly pretentious class on the effects of alcohol (which I assume is full of watching videos and reading shit inclined in putting you in absolute fear to ever touch a beer again), and even have counselors that will talk with your "problem" as to why you drank that one and only beer that night out of just feeling like it.

So, now, its time to point out how ridiculous and wrong many of the statements mentioned in the article are.

UAPD's Web site reports an average of 227 liquor violations per year and an average of 50 DUIs per year from 2000-2003.

And I was one of them! FUCK ME NOW LADIES, I'M SO COOL FOR GETTING MIPED!!!!!!

According to UAPD Officer Chris Scheopner, the body can't process alcohol properly under the age of 21.
The age of legal consumption, is not just something "picked," Scheopner said. Scientific tests prove that 21 is an age at which the body can start "dealing with alcohol in its system."

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let me see if I got this right; we suddenly have turned to police officers who make 29.5 grand a year and are usually high school dropouts for our "scientific advice?" What the FUCK is wrong with this country???? I don't need to hear any "scientifc advice" pouring out of an officer's mouth. Their job is plain and simple and only requires this line: "You drink underage, you'll get cited." THAT'S IT. They don't need to go around and spread the word of some propagandist bullshit they heard on the radio and suddenly think they are the smartest and most powerful beings on the face of this Earth. We already have plenty of "big heads" on this planet. Just do your damn job, don't be a pseudo-intellectual. Oh, and guess what? Canada and Australia said 18 is the proper age for alcohol to begin normal processes in the body. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE IT WAS 21 BY THE OFFICER/PROFESSOR??? GUESS THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX WORKS AFTER ALL!!!

When a first-offending UA student is arrested in this fashion by UAPD, the Dean of Students Office offers a diversion program to protect the student from developing a criminal record.
The student arrested will be referred to the program, and he or she can avoid being involved in county legal processes and consequences by admitting fault, Sheopner said.
"It's intended to be in-house to avoid involvement with the courts... It's to look out for the students," Scheopner said. "Look, you messed up, it happens, but you're going to get another chance."
The diversion program typically entails fines, community service and counseling.

Oh yeah, bra-VO. Poor little Billy had one drink and only one drink that night and he's gettin cited because this is his first time EVER getting caught. He restrains himself, despite the fact of being underage, just to have one so he can loosen up a bit and suddenly, he runs a HIGH risk of having a criminal record!!! OH BILLY, YOU'VE LET YOUR FAMILY DOWN BY DRINKING ONE BEER EVERYTIME YOU GO TO A PARTY. YOUR LIFE IS OVER!!!! But wait, Billy, its not too late! The wonderful Dean of Students at UA has a diversion program for you! You get to dodge court since you're a responsible chap! You're going to be sent to an alcohol diversion program! Great, no court for Billy! But, what's this? Fees when your tuition is already too high? Community service when you have classes to attend so you can get a degree and LIVE LIFE PROPERLY???? Counseling for only having one beer and you're being told you are a drunken loser for doing it??? And, wait, there's more! There are classes you have to attend, interfering with your study time so you can PASS and not end up like TONY PRESLEY??? Whoa, the videos are terrible too! They make bold assumptions and make up mythical instances just to frighten you, but not help you! WOW, COURT IS LOOKING BETTER AND BETTER! Come on, half the time, these minors only have a little to drink and all of the sudden, they're treated like major criminals and made to feel bad about one beer. but, wait, Grey Fox, one beer can lead to many! Yeah, sure, if you're a fucking suicidal moron, college cutie, or jock, like Daniel Leathers, who thinks they can get away with anything, but are, in reality, big losers who end up working at a position in a bank for the rest of their lives and lie about their income. SOUNDS GREAT TO ME! Keep up the good work, UAPD, you're doing a great job instigating fear in one timers!

Anyone under or over the age of 21 can be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If alcohol is being provided to someone underage at a party or other gathering, the provider is committing a crime. When called to a party, UAPD's usual routine is to find the person throwing the party.
If there is underage drinking at the party, the host can be charged with one or more accounts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, Scheopner said. This charge has been known to be associated with hefty fines.

And most of the time, the wrong person takes the blame, your friends are suddenly not your friends anymore, or, you have the worst luck in the world and some goody two shoed prick tattles the WHOLE damn thing. Look, if you are at a party and the cops want to know who is in charge, keep your fucking mouth SHUT. If you're a true friend, you don't rat out your other friends. The only time you tattle is when someone is pretending to be your friend and treats you like dirt, even though he or she continues to invite you places, but you tend to get constantly avoided regardless. Those aren't true friends and they need to be punished. Yes, it sounds like sinking to their level, but, hey, why give compassion unconditionally to those who don't deserve it? (and in these cases, I am flat out talking about people who have no chance of redemption *aka, Tony*).

National statistics show that 18- to 24-year-old males are at a high risk for alcohol abuse. These are the typical years of college.

Oh, here we go. MALES. MALES MALES MALES! WE ARE SO TERRIBLE!!! This type of talk drives me nuts, regardless of it being true. I know we're "big bad meanies who are made from snips and snails and puppy dog's tails," but we are ALWAYS the ones that take the heat. Women always bitch about equality, EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE IT, and yet, no one says shit about how annoying and uncreative it is. Whenever a man demands equal rights, he's blown off. Why? BECAUSE HE IS A MAN! Let me let you in on a little secret, folks: women drink as much as guys do and act as obnoxious and stupid as men do while intoxicated. Women take advantage of men as much as men do to women under the influence. Women drive drunk and get abusive while drunk as well (I was slapped on a lot by a drunk girl once and I didn't appreciate it. "Oh, she was just trying to be cute, lighten up!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Yeah, well, how come when a guy punches a girl playfully, its not cute? Oh right, I forgot, that's domestic abuse. "I was just hitting you while I was drunk to be cute just like you, lighten up, even though it annoys and ridicules you! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL" Bitch). Let's face it, gentlemen, we're horrible creatures of reason that are no better than animals and we should submit to all stereotypes of us. Then, the world will be a better place because utopia and liberal dominance is the GREATEST dream of mankind. Barf...

Beginning in Sept., a grant will allow the center to provide students with a non-judgmental evaluation of their drinking habits. Students can talk with professionals in a comfortable and friendly environment about their drinking habits.
Not only will participating students get paid, they will learn about themselves and alcohol in a very personal way, an area where posters and statistics around campus can often fail.

Wow, getting paid to sell your dignity! This is just as bad as being a guinea pig in a lab or being on one of the worst shows in the history of mankind, Survivor. "But, Grey Fox, you get paid to learn about yourr drunkeness!" Yeah, you're still a whore to sell yourself out to "non-judgemental" people. Here's another word of wisdom from Grey Fox's "Super Book of Infinite Wisdom Hyper Mega Cannon," EVERYONE IS JUDGEMENTAL. I AM JUDGEMENTAL, YOUR TEACHERS ARE JUDGEMENTAL, YOUR PARENTS ARE JUDGEMENTAL, HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE JUDGEMENTAL DEFENSIVELY. I am judgemental only when enough evidence has been gathered to make a bi-partite, logical conclusion. Religious people are judgemental because they are so "superbly eenlightened," they have every right to condemn us all to hell because we don't agree with their mysticism. Those "friendly people" are trying to get you to admit you're a drunk, even if you're not. They judge you right when you enter the door, by your looks, your piercings, your tatoos, your gothic makeup, your football jersey, your coke framed glasses, and so on. Your appearance can sometimes say it all. so, what then? Two options: dress normally, nothing on the shirt or shorts, or DON'T VOLUNTEER.

Watson said when people drink, especially those under the age of 21, they are "beginning an addictive process."

And yet, I still only stick to under 5 drinks at parties, and a drink now and then during dinner or a game. WOW, DR. WATSON, YOU'RE SO COOL AND SMART!

When a woman consumes more then 2 alcoholic beverages a week, she's "increasing the risk of breast cancer," Watson said.

OHHHHHH, WOMAN IS FINALLY MENTIONED! So, when it effects her PHYSICALLY, its ok to talk about it.

Drinking is not recommended, Watson said. There are "no nutritional benefits" to drinking, and there are no physiological benefits.
"Under no circumstances should a college student drink," Watson said.

Then what's the point of alcohol? Seriously, this moron thinks he is making a great point here when he, and this whole article, have just spun themselves into hypocracy. Whatever happened to the whole "drink in moderation or wait until you're legal" bit? This article finished like this and I am not convinced AT ALL. Hell, I don't even know what the point of the article is anymore!!!! It's true, there are no nutritional benefits to drinking alcohol, but, there are PLENTY of physiological benefits. Drinking brings out relaxation, if used responsibly. It loosens you into talking with others and not being afraid of holding back. Drinking also makes food taste better and events more enjoyable. I love watching football or hoops while having a beer with the buddies. Corona makes Mexican food taste outstanding. so, you can go on and blab all you want about there being no point to drink, Dr. Watson. All the incoming idiotic freshmen, especially from California, are gonna be drinking and getting wasted no matter what ANYONE says. A lot of people just don't care, and that's a sad, motherfucking fact of life.

To wrap things up, just fucking drink if you're of legal age, but do it responsibly. Stop giving into this bullshit that its evil and wrong and has no point. Just about everything in existance has a point and if someone doesn't agree with you, smack them upside the head with a rolled up copy of "Right vs. Left-winged Morons."