The Five Worst Animes In The History Of Geekind
Ah, anime. A pastime that doesn't consume my life as much as it used to anymore. A pastime that former roomate Daniel Leathers and his irate cousin tried to make me feel bad for so I could become just like them and be an STD farm today! Japanese Animation is fun to watch when there is nothing to do now, rather than do it almost all day. In my experience with anime, I have seen some funny series, some kick ass movies, some incredible gore, and then, some horrifying "otaku fadom super wish show series" that makes me want to bash the heads of every single fan into a brick wall at speeds of 65 MPH. I'm talking about those animes that EVERY teenager sucks off of. Cartoon Netwrok brought Cowboy Bebop, Lupin, and DBZ. They were dubbed, but at least they had decent taste. What followed was an explosion of crap I have never heard of (or have and it STILL sucks). Zatch Bell, FLCL, Beyblade, what is this faggot crap??? MY GOD, WE'VE NOW CREATED LITTLE MONSTERS THAT THINK THIS IS THE COOLEST SHIT ON EARTH WHEN THERE ARE BETTER ANIMES, NAY, BETTER THINGS TO DO IN LIFE!
With that said, here is the lowdown on the five shittiest animes that teens (and adults) love:
5 - Neon Geneis Evangelion (aka Neon Genesuck Evansuckleon)
I used to like this anime. Not a whole lot like former roomate Jordan Matti did, but I liked the mecha in it. Then, I suddenly realized, Shinji (the main character) was not only a whiner and a loser, but a secret closet homo who covered that up by pretending to have a thing for Asuka and Rei. All Shinji does is mope around, especially after the final angel reveals himself (it being one of his close friends....OH MY FUCKING GOD, GREY FOX, YOU SPOILED THE SERIES!!!! FUCK YOU, I'M TELLING!!!!). I have never seen a more annoying character since that two cent slut, Miaka, from Fushigi Yugi. The only thing that redeems this anime from being lower in the bottom 5 are the fight scenes. They took away from the crying and mind-masturbation scenes of Shinji, but then, WHAM, you're back to hearing his regrets and his sadness about how Beavis told him he would score, but he can't!!!! See it if you absolutely MUST listen to those anime nerds who jack off to it every night while they eat funyons and drink mountain dew until they get bloated. Those people are ALWAYS right and ALWAYS the best people to talk to, despite the fact they are social outcasts!
4 - Full Metal Alchemist (aka Full Series of Shit)
The series of a young boy who hears about some magical piece of crap and he journies for it, runs into weird chars, over-proportioned women, blah blah....the "best" part is IT NEVER ENDS! THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GET TO GO ON A FANTASMICAL JOURNEY OF 5 NIGHTS WITHOUT SLEEP HOLDING ONTO YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS IN WHAT REPEATITIVE BULLSHIT WILL HAPPEN NEXT, ONLY TO FIND OUT IT ENDS AS ANY OTHER ANIME ENDS, TRAGEDY, UNDERSTANDING, AND FINALLY, SUNSHINE AND UNANSWERED QUESTIONS! Whew, be still my heart. Hold on, I need to go and jerk off to how cool this is....
3 - Fushigi Yugi (aka Fushiti my Yitti)
Miaka and her slave, "Hongo" discover a book while masturbating to futanari magazines. The book is sadly not futanari, but they read it in get sucked into a world of characters dressed VERY homosexually, pedophiliac royality, and incessant whining and scowling from Miaka. Hongo gets sent home at one point, laughing at Miaka's demise, and Miaka has to run around gathering some bullshit to go home before the emperor fucks her in her virgin ass and the merc she has the hots for decapitates her head and dances upon her headless body. Watch it dubbed, and you'll get even more annoyance, fishiness, and sappy crap.
2 - Naruto (aka I wear the band to anime cons)
The bottom two have one thing in common: they attract anime-whores to their teets where they can suckle at them until the series becomes non-profitable or shown to death, much like DBZ sadly. Anime fans to a particular series such as Naruto and the bottom 1 I will reveal after this, flock to these series like sheep or even swarm to them like locusts. At the anime con last September, I could not believe how many Naruto headbands were worn. It was like being in a fucking room full of babies, sucking their pacifiers in unison, all staring at me with that sleepish look they have. No matter who I talked to, it was the same question/answer I got when I was asked or asked what anime you like: "I love Naruto/Full Metal Alchemist/Nutsack 17!; Do you like Naruto/Full Metal Alchemist/Nutsack 17????" LOLOLOLOLOL ^_______________^. Whenever I was asked or was responded with that, I gave each of them a swift kick in the nuts, then smashed their heads into onlookers. I told their parents they watched the porno, Nutsack 17, and then proceeded to spank them for allowing their kids to become otaku/future rapists. Oh wait...I haven't spoken at all about Naruto. If you've seen Kenshin, then think of it like Kenshin, except 50 times the gayness.
AND THE BOTTOM ONE ANIME THAT EVERY KID/TEEN/ADULT/FUTRE IN-MATE LOVES AND I HATE!!!
1- Fruits Basket (aka Every Sane Man's Nightmare/"The Fangirl Show")
History shows a long line of heartbreakers that appeal to women. The Beatles, George Michael, New Fags on the Block, N'Stink, and Fruitstreet Boys all have made girls have multiple orgasms until they all realized they were just flashes in the pan and mainly gay (minus The Beatles of course, since they were awesome after their younger years). But then, what makes anime women break out into multiple orgasms? They don't follow mainstream crap because they are "too cool/intelligent/geeky/suicidal/annoying" to follow it! This is where Fruits Basket comes in. Judging by the guesses in the name, you are right. This anime is chuck full of homosexual goodness! This "cute" girl's mom dies and she lives in a fucking tent,. yet, can still afford to go to school DESPITE THE FACT SHE LIVES IN A FUCKING TENT UNDERAGE WITHOUT A MOTHER!!! She has the hots for some purple eyed/haired faggot who, if that is what girls want men to look like, count me the fuck OUT. Moving on, she is offered to live in his home and then, here is where the series TOTALLY goes Ranma 1/2. IF SHE HUGS THE GUY, HE TURNS INTO A MOUSE, INDUCING ALL THE FEMALES IN AN AUDIENCE TO GO, "AWWWWW, KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOLOLOLOLOL ^___________________________________________^!!!" And in return, it induces vomit up into my mouth to spray all of them with. Oh, there's more, a Shinto fag who turns to a dog, and a red head queer in overalls who hates the purple headed dude because he turns into a , dun dun dun daaaa!!!! RED CAT! OH MY FUCKING GOD, HOW CUTE, LET'S ALL GO HOME AND MUTUALLY MASTURBATE!!!!! Come on, Ranma 1/2 was awesome. Why did Fruits Basket have to steal Ranma's jive turkeyness?????
So, there you have it, the five bottom feeders of anime history. There are more anime series that suck, but, if I continue to write on this topic, I'll have a sudden urge to go put on a Naruto headband and walk around town speaking japanese and cosplaying.
With that said, here is the lowdown on the five shittiest animes that teens (and adults) love:
5 - Neon Geneis Evangelion (aka Neon Genesuck Evansuckleon)
I used to like this anime. Not a whole lot like former roomate Jordan Matti did, but I liked the mecha in it. Then, I suddenly realized, Shinji (the main character) was not only a whiner and a loser, but a secret closet homo who covered that up by pretending to have a thing for Asuka and Rei. All Shinji does is mope around, especially after the final angel reveals himself (it being one of his close friends....OH MY FUCKING GOD, GREY FOX, YOU SPOILED THE SERIES!!!! FUCK YOU, I'M TELLING!!!!). I have never seen a more annoying character since that two cent slut, Miaka, from Fushigi Yugi. The only thing that redeems this anime from being lower in the bottom 5 are the fight scenes. They took away from the crying and mind-masturbation scenes of Shinji, but then, WHAM, you're back to hearing his regrets and his sadness about how Beavis told him he would score, but he can't!!!! See it if you absolutely MUST listen to those anime nerds who jack off to it every night while they eat funyons and drink mountain dew until they get bloated. Those people are ALWAYS right and ALWAYS the best people to talk to, despite the fact they are social outcasts!
4 - Full Metal Alchemist (aka Full Series of Shit)
The series of a young boy who hears about some magical piece of crap and he journies for it, runs into weird chars, over-proportioned women, blah blah....the "best" part is IT NEVER ENDS! THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GET TO GO ON A FANTASMICAL JOURNEY OF 5 NIGHTS WITHOUT SLEEP HOLDING ONTO YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS IN WHAT REPEATITIVE BULLSHIT WILL HAPPEN NEXT, ONLY TO FIND OUT IT ENDS AS ANY OTHER ANIME ENDS, TRAGEDY, UNDERSTANDING, AND FINALLY, SUNSHINE AND UNANSWERED QUESTIONS! Whew, be still my heart. Hold on, I need to go and jerk off to how cool this is....
3 - Fushigi Yugi (aka Fushiti my Yitti)
Miaka and her slave, "Hongo" discover a book while masturbating to futanari magazines. The book is sadly not futanari, but they read it in get sucked into a world of characters dressed VERY homosexually, pedophiliac royality, and incessant whining and scowling from Miaka. Hongo gets sent home at one point, laughing at Miaka's demise, and Miaka has to run around gathering some bullshit to go home before the emperor fucks her in her virgin ass and the merc she has the hots for decapitates her head and dances upon her headless body. Watch it dubbed, and you'll get even more annoyance, fishiness, and sappy crap.
2 - Naruto (aka I wear the band to anime cons)
The bottom two have one thing in common: they attract anime-whores to their teets where they can suckle at them until the series becomes non-profitable or shown to death, much like DBZ sadly. Anime fans to a particular series such as Naruto and the bottom 1 I will reveal after this, flock to these series like sheep or even swarm to them like locusts. At the anime con last September, I could not believe how many Naruto headbands were worn. It was like being in a fucking room full of babies, sucking their pacifiers in unison, all staring at me with that sleepish look they have. No matter who I talked to, it was the same question/answer I got when I was asked or asked what anime you like: "I love Naruto/Full Metal Alchemist/Nutsack 17!; Do you like Naruto/Full Metal Alchemist/Nutsack 17????" LOLOLOLOLOL ^_______________^. Whenever I was asked or was responded with that, I gave each of them a swift kick in the nuts, then smashed their heads into onlookers. I told their parents they watched the porno, Nutsack 17, and then proceeded to spank them for allowing their kids to become otaku/future rapists. Oh wait...I haven't spoken at all about Naruto. If you've seen Kenshin, then think of it like Kenshin, except 50 times the gayness.
AND THE BOTTOM ONE ANIME THAT EVERY KID/TEEN/ADULT/FUTRE IN-MATE LOVES AND I HATE!!!
1- Fruits Basket (aka Every Sane Man's Nightmare/"The Fangirl Show")
History shows a long line of heartbreakers that appeal to women. The Beatles, George Michael, New Fags on the Block, N'Stink, and Fruitstreet Boys all have made girls have multiple orgasms until they all realized they were just flashes in the pan and mainly gay (minus The Beatles of course, since they were awesome after their younger years). But then, what makes anime women break out into multiple orgasms? They don't follow mainstream crap because they are "too cool/intelligent/geeky/suicidal/annoying" to follow it! This is where Fruits Basket comes in. Judging by the guesses in the name, you are right. This anime is chuck full of homosexual goodness! This "cute" girl's mom dies and she lives in a fucking tent,. yet, can still afford to go to school DESPITE THE FACT SHE LIVES IN A FUCKING TENT UNDERAGE WITHOUT A MOTHER!!! She has the hots for some purple eyed/haired faggot who, if that is what girls want men to look like, count me the fuck OUT. Moving on, she is offered to live in his home and then, here is where the series TOTALLY goes Ranma 1/2. IF SHE HUGS THE GUY, HE TURNS INTO A MOUSE, INDUCING ALL THE FEMALES IN AN AUDIENCE TO GO, "AWWWWW, KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOLOLOLOLOL ^___________________________________________^!!!" And in return, it induces vomit up into my mouth to spray all of them with. Oh, there's more, a Shinto fag who turns to a dog, and a red head queer in overalls who hates the purple headed dude because he turns into a , dun dun dun daaaa!!!! RED CAT! OH MY FUCKING GOD, HOW CUTE, LET'S ALL GO HOME AND MUTUALLY MASTURBATE!!!!! Come on, Ranma 1/2 was awesome. Why did Fruits Basket have to steal Ranma's jive turkeyness?????
So, there you have it, the five bottom feeders of anime history. There are more anime series that suck, but, if I continue to write on this topic, I'll have a sudden urge to go put on a Naruto headband and walk around town speaking japanese and cosplaying.
posted by Grey Fox at 2:08 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home