Update: I Am Also A Posing Wigger!
Not only are you just plain stupid for choosing not to like Mars Volta, but you also become a posing wigger! My new fan, Anderson, has been crying all over his pillow, surrounded by his Ben Folds Five posters, about how much of an asshole I am for dropping him a line with my OPINION about Mars Volta. Society is great: mainstreamers throw fits and cry like babily girls if their music/anime/video games/wrist cutting gets insulted by someone who doesn't like it. Assholes, like me, at least had the brains to pull the stick out of their asses and sit back and chill when something they like is "assaulted." It doesn't really matter anyway, as anyone who tries to defend something as petty as music is a closet homo. "But wait, Grey Fox, that's a stab at musicians and homosexuals everywhere!" Sure...if you take me seriously. But, to be serious for one little moment, anyone who takes opinions too far and gets mad over them has serious issues to begin with.
To get more onto the point, let me show you a typical conversation Anderson and I wwould have if we met:
Grey Fox: Slipknot sucks.
Anderson: -begins to bash his head repeatively while making obscene noises, then runs to his room to cry and begins to think about that chick he used to date, so, he blasted repeatitive Mars Volta to drown out his sorrow-
Anderson: Hip-hop sucks, Rammstein sucks, Metallica sucks, Techno sucks
Grey Fox: I know they do, that's why I like them :)
See the differences in our attitudes? Grey Fox played it cool and just allowed him to have his 2 seconds of fame insulting all the music he likes, and then got a jackass response because Grey Fox knows not everyone will like or love his music. Anderson, on the other hand, cannot handle a little opinion from me or from something awful about how bad Mars Volta sucks, and proceeds to use fuck in almost every sentence because he cannot use any other words to vindicate his little tirades.
Let's show some examples. Here, out of boredom and my eternal burden I carry, I wrote this as a joke:
To: carlanderson535@hotmail.com
From: grey.fox37@hotmail.com
yo man u suk,
i cant believe u hav a stick so far up yo azz for havin to git mad over satire and sarcasm. i dunno wat kind of crap u listen to but it must suk ass if u even remotely think the mars volta's music is good. u have no taste and u should die and burn in hell for talkin to lowtax lik dat.
Grey Fox
By the way, I hope you liked the way I fixed most of your grammar mistakes on that to make it worse (but we all know that's what you really wanted to type like). Maybe if you focused on your grammar more, he'd give a shit about your lame ass opinion :)
His letter to Dr. Thorpe was horribly written in shorthand, clearly indicating he was another teenager with a mission to get enraged whenever his music, aka, his life before a career at Taco Bell, is touched upon in a manner that makes him cry. Clearly, I found this to be quite an amusing joke and a great way to help communicate to him in his own language. Saldy, he did not take well upon it:
Dude i don't even know where to start with you. First of all you make no fucking sense at all. Whoever did this review on The Mars Volta's France the Mute obviously doesn't know music or wouldn't know it if I fucking slapped him in the face with it. He and you probably listen to shit thats afraid to expriment and sounds the same on every fucking album if they even made it past one album and those that did are probably bands you would never like unless everyone else listened to them. You're probably a posing ass bitch that couldn't make up his mind if you liked something or not, you just choose to go with the flow. Well when you learn what real music is let me know then we'll talk but untill then shut your fucking mouth. You and "lowtax" whoever the fuck that is. He can shut his damn mouth too while your at it. Well I hope the spelling is good enough for you you illiterate son of a bitch. peace out..
Fuck Count: 4
Stupidity Rating: Up to 75%
Two words in response to this: simply AMAZING. I have no idea how this kid has survived for as long as he has, but, it makes me wish I sent a better email to him. Well, no worry, in my last one, I gave him a link to this page so he and all my adoring fans can see how much of a dork he really is.
He doesn't know where to begin with me, he says. Its fairly simple: don't respond to me and it'll all be over. Unfortunately, being a teenager means taking everything seriously, even jokes (also, he must have a history of brain damage in his family, poor chap). His rage about me making no fucking sense at all and being an illiterate son of a bitch (which happens to be a Jay-Z lyric from Big Pimpin, surprise, surprise) really makes me laugh. After seeing how poor the grammar was on his rant on the Something Awful site, I figured I could communicate with him by writing to him in his own language. I also love how he claims I go with the flow, especially after he did as I told him to and wrote clearer. Boy, for someone who blames others for going with the flow, he sure doesn't know how to take responsibility for his pussy actions! Yeah, wow, I sometimes listen to mainstream hip-hop and download it later because apparently, I have no taste in music, just because its hip-hop. That's really funny, because I happen to enjoy it too of my own free will, but, we have to listen to Carl Anderson because he listens to "real" music like Mars Volta and his favorite local bands that sing incoherent death metal about how painful life is when they don't even have lives yet and live at home, wasting their parent's money. The best part was, I got called a "posing ass bitch" because I don't like Mars Volta. Well, folks, it turns out that now if you like anyone but Mars Volta, you are a "posing ass bitch" because Carl Anderson, age 14, told you so.
The reply I sent him is not as good as what I wrote here, but, I do prove one valid point and I decided to be nicer to him:
But you're the one ending it with "peace out," a term used commonly by blacks, hip-hopsters, or wiggers (and they listen to the same sounding stuff too!). Oops, looks like you wasted your time responding to me! If you can't handle sarcasm, then just go cry on your little pillow about how you lost your Mars Volta CD and it got you through life instead of killing yourself like the emo you are :). I'm going to post your fan mail on my webpage as well, since you're such a super stud.
I gave him advice, I left him a nice comment, and I proved a valid point. Case closed? Unfortunately, no. This is what I got tonight:
wow you fucking idiot. you said that they listen to the same sounding stuff too. that must mean you do. and apparently i dont listen to the same sounding stuff cause i listen to the mars volta and i never heard any band that sounds anything close to what their sound is. im definately not black, i hate hip-hop, and i dont ever want to be known as a wigger, which your probably one or more of the three. and dude what the hell are you talking about sarcasm? do you know the fucking definition of sarcasm or would you like me to tell you? i can take sarcasm but nothing that i got from you was sarcasm so shut the fuck up. im not an "emo" either, you dont even fucking know me. just cause i like the fucking mars volta makes me emo and want to kill myslef? fuck you man. oh and please do tell me what kinda of music you listen to. you insult my kind of music but never talk of your own? is it because its all pointless, boring, and the same shit over and over? i wouldn't doubt if it were. if you knew anything about anything in music or anything you might not sound so fucking stupid.
The object of war is to make you die like the bitch you are.
(i hope you like how i revised this for you i think it suits you very well)
Its cool to see my humor is being used back at me. It shows that Carl Anderson, age 14, wants to be like Grey Fox. I corrected his grammar, he corrected my email sig. What an good samaratan he is! Good doggie, jump through the hoop!
Fuck Count: 7
Stupidity Rating: 86%
Chances Of This Kid Finding A Woman: 2%
I had to give him a little chance, since I am so nice. Its offical now, folks, if you do not like Mars Volta, you know NOTHING about music. Carl Anderson, age 14, has set the terms of life and we must abide to him, for he knows a greater music than we do. Anything that no one has heard of or is not mainstream is so cool and mysterious and, as Carl Anderson, age 14, tries to be secretly proving, a boost in ego. Its sad that teens feel that uncommon groups make them so unique and cool, even though its just like following the media to your grave. Just because I and several other people happen to like some forms of hip-hop and heavy metal, does not make us sheep (but, to most college preps, it does). Wow, so, listening to The Game means I have no soul of my own, despite the fact he has a good beat to me? Whew, stunning! And yes, because I am giving him a hard time, it DOES mean I listen to the same stuff. Since I don't listen to Mars Volta, the most unique group on the face of the planet that steals beats of RayLynch's, I suddenly and magically am MAINSTREAM! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! His logic is incredible, so incredible, it makes me want to jack off and shoot all over some Mars Volta CDs because his fans are so die hard and with it in the modern age of bullshit music. Finally, opinions are now insults as well. Saying that Mars Volta sucks, as an opinion, resulted in this poor child to scream in agony, thus causing his parents to tell him to go to sleep and turn the damn computer off to save electricity. Say hello to one of the many leaders of generation XX, fans! What a bright future we have!
This is the email I sent just now. I had my lawyer, Miss Aya Pixie, go over this email with me during our private time:
I've analyzed this email with my lawyer, Miss Aya Pixie. She has come to the conclusion, while tying me up in my basement and commiting her dominatrix routine, that you are in desparate need of getting laid by a man. She referred to your tirade of "over and over again, same old bullshit" music as a closet cry for help. I think what she was trying to say in between my spankings, since I am a now a bad boy posing wigger who listens to the same stuff over and over, despite the fact I never listen to Linkin Park, Evanescence, or some loser named MarsVolta, is that your little speech was about the most delicious homosexual defense she has read in a good while. She has given me a list of places where you can score in the states with plenty of other emo/child molestor/furry/male mayo lovers who will make every single one of your fantasies come true. I would give them to you now, but, it seems that you feel I do not understand what sarcasm is, even when I use it...like right now...maybe...I don't know, let me check my iPod list full of my repeating techno/hip-hop/heavy metal and see if I can find lyrics that can be used to translate to your emo-ness. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go back to listening to all my repeating crappy music like Metallica, Rammstein, The Game, Jay-Z, and so on,since they all suck, but, in reality, they are just like every other group in their genre, aka, not your cool and awesome super fantasmical "non-repeating" music!
All My Stupid Love,
Grey Fox "The Bitch/American War Nerd"
The object of war is not to get mad at Anderson, its to play with Anderson's cock and balls!!!
--Quote Receited From Miss Aya Pixie's former gay roomate
I feel we did a great job translating Carl Anderson, age 14's retort. We also had some fun in changing my sig again! I can't wait to see what else he can come up with so I can drink my morning apple juice and squirt it out my nose from laughing at this super stud. Well, its time to go back to listening to my crappy, "mainstream" music because I have no will of my own....my own....my own.....
To get more onto the point, let me show you a typical conversation Anderson and I wwould have if we met:
Grey Fox: Slipknot sucks.
Anderson: -begins to bash his head repeatively while making obscene noises, then runs to his room to cry and begins to think about that chick he used to date, so, he blasted repeatitive Mars Volta to drown out his sorrow-
Anderson: Hip-hop sucks, Rammstein sucks, Metallica sucks, Techno sucks
Grey Fox: I know they do, that's why I like them :)
See the differences in our attitudes? Grey Fox played it cool and just allowed him to have his 2 seconds of fame insulting all the music he likes, and then got a jackass response because Grey Fox knows not everyone will like or love his music. Anderson, on the other hand, cannot handle a little opinion from me or from something awful about how bad Mars Volta sucks, and proceeds to use fuck in almost every sentence because he cannot use any other words to vindicate his little tirades.
Let's show some examples. Here, out of boredom and my eternal burden I carry, I wrote this as a joke:
To: carlanderson535@hotmail.com
From: grey.fox37@hotmail.com
yo man u suk,
i cant believe u hav a stick so far up yo azz for havin to git mad over satire and sarcasm. i dunno wat kind of crap u listen to but it must suk ass if u even remotely think the mars volta's music is good. u have no taste and u should die and burn in hell for talkin to lowtax lik dat.
Grey Fox
By the way, I hope you liked the way I fixed most of your grammar mistakes on that to make it worse (but we all know that's what you really wanted to type like). Maybe if you focused on your grammar more, he'd give a shit about your lame ass opinion :)
His letter to Dr. Thorpe was horribly written in shorthand, clearly indicating he was another teenager with a mission to get enraged whenever his music, aka, his life before a career at Taco Bell, is touched upon in a manner that makes him cry. Clearly, I found this to be quite an amusing joke and a great way to help communicate to him in his own language. Saldy, he did not take well upon it:
Dude i don't even know where to start with you. First of all you make no fucking sense at all. Whoever did this review on The Mars Volta's France the Mute obviously doesn't know music or wouldn't know it if I fucking slapped him in the face with it. He and you probably listen to shit thats afraid to expriment and sounds the same on every fucking album if they even made it past one album and those that did are probably bands you would never like unless everyone else listened to them. You're probably a posing ass bitch that couldn't make up his mind if you liked something or not, you just choose to go with the flow. Well when you learn what real music is let me know then we'll talk but untill then shut your fucking mouth. You and "lowtax" whoever the fuck that is. He can shut his damn mouth too while your at it. Well I hope the spelling is good enough for you you illiterate son of a bitch. peace out..
Fuck Count: 4
Stupidity Rating: Up to 75%
Two words in response to this: simply AMAZING. I have no idea how this kid has survived for as long as he has, but, it makes me wish I sent a better email to him. Well, no worry, in my last one, I gave him a link to this page so he and all my adoring fans can see how much of a dork he really is.
He doesn't know where to begin with me, he says. Its fairly simple: don't respond to me and it'll all be over. Unfortunately, being a teenager means taking everything seriously, even jokes (also, he must have a history of brain damage in his family, poor chap). His rage about me making no fucking sense at all and being an illiterate son of a bitch (which happens to be a Jay-Z lyric from Big Pimpin, surprise, surprise) really makes me laugh. After seeing how poor the grammar was on his rant on the Something Awful site, I figured I could communicate with him by writing to him in his own language. I also love how he claims I go with the flow, especially after he did as I told him to and wrote clearer. Boy, for someone who blames others for going with the flow, he sure doesn't know how to take responsibility for his pussy actions! Yeah, wow, I sometimes listen to mainstream hip-hop and download it later because apparently, I have no taste in music, just because its hip-hop. That's really funny, because I happen to enjoy it too of my own free will, but, we have to listen to Carl Anderson because he listens to "real" music like Mars Volta and his favorite local bands that sing incoherent death metal about how painful life is when they don't even have lives yet and live at home, wasting their parent's money. The best part was, I got called a "posing ass bitch" because I don't like Mars Volta. Well, folks, it turns out that now if you like anyone but Mars Volta, you are a "posing ass bitch" because Carl Anderson, age 14, told you so.
The reply I sent him is not as good as what I wrote here, but, I do prove one valid point and I decided to be nicer to him:
But you're the one ending it with "peace out," a term used commonly by blacks, hip-hopsters, or wiggers (and they listen to the same sounding stuff too!). Oops, looks like you wasted your time responding to me! If you can't handle sarcasm, then just go cry on your little pillow about how you lost your Mars Volta CD and it got you through life instead of killing yourself like the emo you are :). I'm going to post your fan mail on my webpage as well, since you're such a super stud.
I gave him advice, I left him a nice comment, and I proved a valid point. Case closed? Unfortunately, no. This is what I got tonight:
wow you fucking idiot. you said that they listen to the same sounding stuff too. that must mean you do. and apparently i dont listen to the same sounding stuff cause i listen to the mars volta and i never heard any band that sounds anything close to what their sound is. im definately not black, i hate hip-hop, and i dont ever want to be known as a wigger, which your probably one or more of the three. and dude what the hell are you talking about sarcasm? do you know the fucking definition of sarcasm or would you like me to tell you? i can take sarcasm but nothing that i got from you was sarcasm so shut the fuck up. im not an "emo" either, you dont even fucking know me. just cause i like the fucking mars volta makes me emo and want to kill myslef? fuck you man. oh and please do tell me what kinda of music you listen to. you insult my kind of music but never talk of your own? is it because its all pointless, boring, and the same shit over and over? i wouldn't doubt if it were. if you knew anything about anything in music or anything you might not sound so fucking stupid.
The object of war is to make you die like the bitch you are.
(i hope you like how i revised this for you i think it suits you very well)
Its cool to see my humor is being used back at me. It shows that Carl Anderson, age 14, wants to be like Grey Fox. I corrected his grammar, he corrected my email sig. What an good samaratan he is! Good doggie, jump through the hoop!
Fuck Count: 7
Stupidity Rating: 86%
Chances Of This Kid Finding A Woman: 2%
I had to give him a little chance, since I am so nice. Its offical now, folks, if you do not like Mars Volta, you know NOTHING about music. Carl Anderson, age 14, has set the terms of life and we must abide to him, for he knows a greater music than we do. Anything that no one has heard of or is not mainstream is so cool and mysterious and, as Carl Anderson, age 14, tries to be secretly proving, a boost in ego. Its sad that teens feel that uncommon groups make them so unique and cool, even though its just like following the media to your grave. Just because I and several other people happen to like some forms of hip-hop and heavy metal, does not make us sheep (but, to most college preps, it does). Wow, so, listening to The Game means I have no soul of my own, despite the fact he has a good beat to me? Whew, stunning! And yes, because I am giving him a hard time, it DOES mean I listen to the same stuff. Since I don't listen to Mars Volta, the most unique group on the face of the planet that steals beats of RayLynch's, I suddenly and magically am MAINSTREAM! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! His logic is incredible, so incredible, it makes me want to jack off and shoot all over some Mars Volta CDs because his fans are so die hard and with it in the modern age of bullshit music. Finally, opinions are now insults as well. Saying that Mars Volta sucks, as an opinion, resulted in this poor child to scream in agony, thus causing his parents to tell him to go to sleep and turn the damn computer off to save electricity. Say hello to one of the many leaders of generation XX, fans! What a bright future we have!
This is the email I sent just now. I had my lawyer, Miss Aya Pixie, go over this email with me during our private time:
I've analyzed this email with my lawyer, Miss Aya Pixie. She has come to the conclusion, while tying me up in my basement and commiting her dominatrix routine, that you are in desparate need of getting laid by a man. She referred to your tirade of "over and over again, same old bullshit" music as a closet cry for help. I think what she was trying to say in between my spankings, since I am a now a bad boy posing wigger who listens to the same stuff over and over, despite the fact I never listen to Linkin Park, Evanescence, or some loser named MarsVolta, is that your little speech was about the most delicious homosexual defense she has read in a good while. She has given me a list of places where you can score in the states with plenty of other emo/child molestor/furry/male mayo lovers who will make every single one of your fantasies come true. I would give them to you now, but, it seems that you feel I do not understand what sarcasm is, even when I use it...like right now...maybe...I don't know, let me check my iPod list full of my repeating techno/hip-hop/heavy metal and see if I can find lyrics that can be used to translate to your emo-ness. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go back to listening to all my repeating crappy music like Metallica, Rammstein, The Game, Jay-Z, and so on,since they all suck, but, in reality, they are just like every other group in their genre, aka, not your cool and awesome super fantasmical "non-repeating" music!
All My Stupid Love,
Grey Fox "The Bitch/American War Nerd"
The object of war is not to get mad at Anderson, its to play with Anderson's cock and balls!!!
--Quote Receited From Miss Aya Pixie's former gay roomate
I feel we did a great job translating Carl Anderson, age 14's retort. We also had some fun in changing my sig again! I can't wait to see what else he can come up with so I can drink my morning apple juice and squirt it out my nose from laughing at this super stud. Well, its time to go back to listening to my crappy, "mainstream" music because I have no will of my own....my own....my own.....
posted by Grey Fox at 12:10 AM
1 Comments:
thought-provoking, mootable pv. just my thoughts, well anyways gl & be chipper is what i say
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