GIRLS ARE THE DEVIL...

You know those people you call friends? The ones you trust with almost anything except your life? Because of course we are all smarter, or SHOULD be smarter than to trust anyone but OURSELVES with our lives, because friends WILL screw us over. Ok, well those. All right, is it just me, or do they piss you off? Because they do to me. Look, it's not what you wear, or how you speak. Friends, especially girls, because those are the ones i'm going to focus on. all right, GIRLS ARE THE DEVIL. And that's got to tell you something, because I'm a girl myself and that just says something about us.
Girls have this thing called JEALOUSY. They WILL attack you if you are even NEAR the boy they like. It's just the rules...oh and by the way, we actually HAVE a code. So here are some tips and bits of the code for guys to read over:

• you do NOT move in on someone else's guy...you WILL get bitched at, then possibly jumped after school, or anywhere, by a good 4-5 girls who all have HEELS and NAILS to hurt you with.
  
• One of the things you have to understand, girls go to the bathrooms IN GROUPS. We just do. This way, if we're in school, or on a date, or just out in general, we can gossip. Or talk about people we don't like or do like. So guys, watch out for that.
• Oh and by the way, there is this thing called the WWW, Women's Word Web. Word travels FAST. If you do something with a girl or a guy, SOMEONE DID see you, and they WILL tell someone else. And so word spreads faster than a fire.
• If girls are double-dating, and they like one another's dates, they WILL suddenly switch seats on you. Turns out, you get the other girl. Which may NOT be the one you like. But the girl sitting next, or across from you, DOES NOT give a shit.
• Girls like to get their way, so if they don't get it, they will give you this thing called the SILENT TREATMENT that will rack your brains, and drive you insane until you have to do it anyways.
  
• When a girl asks you if they look fat, you say: HELL NO sweetie, you look as beautiful as always. This way, you are not lying to her. You did not specify if she ALWAYS looks beautiful, because for what I know, she could be as ugly as hell, so therefore, she looks as beautiful as she does everyday, which is ugly. But if she really IS beautiful, then leave as is.
  
• WHEN GIRLS SAY ONE THING, THEY MAY OR MAY NOT MEAN WHAT THEY SAY. Most girls are insecure, and have less self-control than guys. So guys will just have to tough it out and deal with our girl-ish language as it comes.
• If you act like an immature idiot, it is DEFINATELY a turn-off TRUST ME. Girls despise idiots. Unless the girls are already immature and idiots to begin with, that way maybe it's the guys who are getting turned off.
• Always pay for EVERYTHING, unless girl offers. Because if she doesn't and you MAKE her, you are SOOO much fucking trouble. She will probably think you are an asshole.
• Innocent girls will be innocent girls FOREVER unless you try something on them and they change. Which is HIGHLY unlikely. Naughty girls will ALWAYS be naughty girls, no matter what you do to try to make them NON-sexual. I'm sorry it just won't work.
• Boys, keep OFF the goods, unless told to get on. Because if you force girls to get into situations they don't want to be in, they will feel unclean for a while. And they will TOTALLY blame that on you.
• You DO NOT want to be on the other side of an argument.
• You ALWAYS comfort a crying girl, IN SOME WAY. Laughing is good...

Well, there. I'm done being one of those DEAR ABBY people, or whatever you want to freaking call them. I'm out.

Peace Bitches, ::closetoinsanity::