Weekend Update May 8-12
Hello, I'm The Truth and this is the fake news! :D
Our top story: In Africa, a bird flu has broken out in the Ivory Coast and it seems to have caused several people to flap their arms and cluck like hens. Former San Francisco player Merton Hanks was also told to be on scene.
French Connection, the British retailer famous for its FCUK advertising slogans, has seen a further collapse in sales after its latest controversial campaign - a television advert featuring fisticuffs and lesbianism. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this type of lesbianism just doesn't work...
Is the press at war with America? Many say yes, due to the fact of President Bush being in office. Many reporters have been trying to uncover more dirt on him and many Americans are hoping for the dawn of another democratic face in the White House. Or, as Bill Clinton puts it, a quote: "Dawn of my bent penis in the White House once again."
Richard Moriarty, a millionare in California known for his fabulous costume parties, has decorated the side of his house with a 1974 Lamborghini. Now, when I say decoarte, I mean he had the car bolted to the wall on the outside of his house....this is no joke. Apparently, he needed to find a better art showing after he went through his quote "bolting his female costume party members in his bedroom" phase....that was the joke...
A Brooklyn man with a long history of bloody encounters with the police barricaded his family in its apartment early yesterday - then bit off his tongue and spat it at cops and EMTs as they struggled to take him into custody. The tongue is now for sale on ebay, start you bidding now!
In Fairfax City, police have arrested a man and charged him with stabbing his mother to death, just two days before Mother's Day. The 24 year old stabbed his mother multiple times, then retreated to his getaway hideout at the local donut shop.
U.S. military troops with severe psychological problems have been sent to Iraq or kept in combat, even when superiors have been aware of signs of mental illness. Isn't this just great, folks? Now the mental soldiers can get their stress out by pretending that iraqi guy is his fat ass wife and settle things in the way he always wanted!
BARBIE dolls, the rite of passage for many young girls, may contribute to eating disorders in adolescence, according to new research. The study found that the Barbie dolls, which are far thinner than traditional shapes, particularly at the waist, make girls want to be unrealistically slim when they grow up. Let me give them something better to focus on so they can eat healthy:
And finally, the Top 5 best TV moms has come out today in honor of Mothers Day listing Marion Cunningham of Happy Days as the number one TV mom. And who is the least favorite TV mom? You guessed it:
Frank Stallone!
And that's the way it is! Join me next time when I give you a guide to surviving a college party!
grey.fox37@gmail.com
Our top story: In Africa, a bird flu has broken out in the Ivory Coast and it seems to have caused several people to flap their arms and cluck like hens. Former San Francisco player Merton Hanks was also told to be on scene.
French Connection, the British retailer famous for its FCUK advertising slogans, has seen a further collapse in sales after its latest controversial campaign - a television advert featuring fisticuffs and lesbianism. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this type of lesbianism just doesn't work...
Is the press at war with America? Many say yes, due to the fact of President Bush being in office. Many reporters have been trying to uncover more dirt on him and many Americans are hoping for the dawn of another democratic face in the White House. Or, as Bill Clinton puts it, a quote: "Dawn of my bent penis in the White House once again."
Richard Moriarty, a millionare in California known for his fabulous costume parties, has decorated the side of his house with a 1974 Lamborghini. Now, when I say decoarte, I mean he had the car bolted to the wall on the outside of his house....this is no joke. Apparently, he needed to find a better art showing after he went through his quote "bolting his female costume party members in his bedroom" phase....that was the joke...
A Brooklyn man with a long history of bloody encounters with the police barricaded his family in its apartment early yesterday - then bit off his tongue and spat it at cops and EMTs as they struggled to take him into custody. The tongue is now for sale on ebay, start you bidding now!
In Fairfax City, police have arrested a man and charged him with stabbing his mother to death, just two days before Mother's Day. The 24 year old stabbed his mother multiple times, then retreated to his getaway hideout at the local donut shop.
U.S. military troops with severe psychological problems have been sent to Iraq or kept in combat, even when superiors have been aware of signs of mental illness. Isn't this just great, folks? Now the mental soldiers can get their stress out by pretending that iraqi guy is his fat ass wife and settle things in the way he always wanted!
BARBIE dolls, the rite of passage for many young girls, may contribute to eating disorders in adolescence, according to new research. The study found that the Barbie dolls, which are far thinner than traditional shapes, particularly at the waist, make girls want to be unrealistically slim when they grow up. Let me give them something better to focus on so they can eat healthy:
And finally, the Top 5 best TV moms has come out today in honor of Mothers Day listing Marion Cunningham of Happy Days as the number one TV mom. And who is the least favorite TV mom? You guessed it:
Frank Stallone!
And that's the way it is! Join me next time when I give you a guide to surviving a college party!
grey.fox37@gmail.com
posted by Grey Fox at 4:36 PM
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