Your Blog Sucks (Sic)
You've been sitting idly by masturbating to furry porn and now it's time. The Your Blog Sucks event of a lifetime....
...WILL NEVER BE SHOWN BECAUSE READER DEMAND WAS NOT POPULAR ENOUGH!
Instead, we bring you Weekend Update with Grey Fox!
Thank you, I'm Grey Fox and now the fake news...
Senator Harry Reid has gotten himself into a boxing fix, defending its viewing in Nevada. He claims, quote: "I have an obligation to make sure boxing is conducted properly in Nevada." He later added: "Oh, and in brothels too."
In Los Angeles, A widow won $2.1 million from a high-priced matchmaker whom she claimed failed to deliver on promises of introductions to cultured, wealthy men. Anne Majerik, a 60-year-old social worker from Erie, Pa., claimed in a lawsuit that she paid Beverly Hills matchmaker Orly Hadida $125,000 to be introduced to men who wanted monogamous relationships, earned more than $1 million and had estates of up to $20 million. The Israeli matchmaker hooked the woman up with a ton of inapropriate suitors, one being Ted Kennedy.
The Sony PSP might be used to access pornography. All this and more can be found in the magazine "DUH."
In Florida, Jason from WiLD 95.5 FM was pulled from a failed attempt to swim to Peanut Island. He said, quote, "Mother nature got the best of me and I found myself swimming in the same place the whole time." We here at The Truth feel its just easier to say, YOU'RE FUCKING FAT.
Elsewhere in Florida, an Orlando neighborhood was ablaze after a problem college student set fire to the trees. A neighbor of his, in his 60s, claimed he had always played loud music at inapropriate hours, walked onto the neighbor's yard and let his dog poop on it, and drive too fast down the street. Coming out of his house one morning to some trees on fire, the old man expressed outrage that the college student didn't use a pooper scooper again on his lawn....
In Gainsville...boy, Florida is just loaded with fun stuff from the Memorial Day weekend! In Gainsville, a Ronald MacDonald statue was stolen last Thursday and was reported to be taken by two homeless men. The statue was later recovered yesterday, but its virginity would be forever lost (there was a hole in the ass)
A 70 year old Scottish actor was charged with sexual harassment after spanking a 21 year old female co-actor on the butt. In his defense, he claimed, quote: "Pretty actresses deserve at least a spanking a day." Where the young actress replied: "And wrinkly old actors deserve at least 5 kicks in their withered nuts for even thinking that."
In Providence, police are investigating the origins of a human jawbone that was found near a strip club's trash bin and spent several months forgotten in the back of a construction supervisor's truck. It was later found out that sacrifical animals has been a hot fetish in Rhode Island for centuries. Seriously, folks, if you go back to colonial times, what do you think they did to piss God off sexually? "Oh, I have an idea, Sam, let's go to the local Indian village, kill a deer, fuck it, then use its jawbone on your penis!"
Australian streets are now being littered by a new group known as "Butt Force." They are dedicated to finding cigarette butts and making cigarette smokers furious if they catch them throwing their butts onto the ground. I guess this does beat their previous hobby: CRACK WHORE.
In Missouri, scientists have been supplementing rainbow trout diet with creatine, offering a fish 5 times stronger and thus more of a fight for anglers. The next task for these fish: hitting 70 home runs in one season.
And finally, in Athens, Georgia, 3 students were suspended from school after a teacher overheard them having a conversation about oral sex and the best way to give it. It should also be noted that these 3 students were third graders....boy, as if living in the south isn't bad enough (wink), I can just imagine how that conversation went? "Have you tried it with that new caramel flavor yet, Lucy?" "Oh, no, I'm still practicing it on my play-doh figurine."
And that's the way it is, adios, amigos!
grey.fox37@gmail.com
...WILL NEVER BE SHOWN BECAUSE READER DEMAND WAS NOT POPULAR ENOUGH!
Instead, we bring you Weekend Update with Grey Fox!
Thank you, I'm Grey Fox and now the fake news...
Senator Harry Reid has gotten himself into a boxing fix, defending its viewing in Nevada. He claims, quote: "I have an obligation to make sure boxing is conducted properly in Nevada." He later added: "Oh, and in brothels too."
In Los Angeles, A widow won $2.1 million from a high-priced matchmaker whom she claimed failed to deliver on promises of introductions to cultured, wealthy men. Anne Majerik, a 60-year-old social worker from Erie, Pa., claimed in a lawsuit that she paid Beverly Hills matchmaker Orly Hadida $125,000 to be introduced to men who wanted monogamous relationships, earned more than $1 million and had estates of up to $20 million. The Israeli matchmaker hooked the woman up with a ton of inapropriate suitors, one being Ted Kennedy.
The Sony PSP might be used to access pornography. All this and more can be found in the magazine "DUH."
In Florida, Jason from WiLD 95.5 FM was pulled from a failed attempt to swim to Peanut Island. He said, quote, "Mother nature got the best of me and I found myself swimming in the same place the whole time." We here at The Truth feel its just easier to say, YOU'RE FUCKING FAT.
Elsewhere in Florida, an Orlando neighborhood was ablaze after a problem college student set fire to the trees. A neighbor of his, in his 60s, claimed he had always played loud music at inapropriate hours, walked onto the neighbor's yard and let his dog poop on it, and drive too fast down the street. Coming out of his house one morning to some trees on fire, the old man expressed outrage that the college student didn't use a pooper scooper again on his lawn....
In Gainsville...boy, Florida is just loaded with fun stuff from the Memorial Day weekend! In Gainsville, a Ronald MacDonald statue was stolen last Thursday and was reported to be taken by two homeless men. The statue was later recovered yesterday, but its virginity would be forever lost (there was a hole in the ass)
A 70 year old Scottish actor was charged with sexual harassment after spanking a 21 year old female co-actor on the butt. In his defense, he claimed, quote: "Pretty actresses deserve at least a spanking a day." Where the young actress replied: "And wrinkly old actors deserve at least 5 kicks in their withered nuts for even thinking that."
In Providence, police are investigating the origins of a human jawbone that was found near a strip club's trash bin and spent several months forgotten in the back of a construction supervisor's truck. It was later found out that sacrifical animals has been a hot fetish in Rhode Island for centuries. Seriously, folks, if you go back to colonial times, what do you think they did to piss God off sexually? "Oh, I have an idea, Sam, let's go to the local Indian village, kill a deer, fuck it, then use its jawbone on your penis!"
Australian streets are now being littered by a new group known as "Butt Force." They are dedicated to finding cigarette butts and making cigarette smokers furious if they catch them throwing their butts onto the ground. I guess this does beat their previous hobby: CRACK WHORE.
In Missouri, scientists have been supplementing rainbow trout diet with creatine, offering a fish 5 times stronger and thus more of a fight for anglers. The next task for these fish: hitting 70 home runs in one season.
And finally, in Athens, Georgia, 3 students were suspended from school after a teacher overheard them having a conversation about oral sex and the best way to give it. It should also be noted that these 3 students were third graders....boy, as if living in the south isn't bad enough (wink), I can just imagine how that conversation went? "Have you tried it with that new caramel flavor yet, Lucy?" "Oh, no, I'm still practicing it on my play-doh figurine."
And that's the way it is, adios, amigos!
grey.fox37@gmail.com
posted by Grey Fox at 1:46 PM
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